PSBB Teachers 3 - Bharti Miss

[Start of Series]

(Part 2 here)

I 'C' - '90-'91
Bharti Miss was a short, slightly plump teacher. Not sure if it's because that is one of the first signs of authority I witnessed in life, but I remember her as a dynamic, authoritative and strict, yet sweet-talking, aggressive-yet-friendly teacher. I also remember her being at the forefront of quite a few extra-curricular activities. She was quite fair and had low-cut hair, if I'm right, and she was also one of the first people I saw wearing glasses with that tag dangling over her neck, which helps to let your glasses hang loose in front of you, without having to place it somewhere.

PS: I also realize I remember a few watchmen and aayahs. So will include them also in this series.

(Watchman) Dhanapal - Dark, burly and affable, I remember him having a very smiling face.

(to be continued)

PSBB Teachers 3 - Bina Miss

(Part 1 here)

Pre KG/LKG/UKG - '87-'90
Bina (Madan) Miss - Of all the teachers I remember, she is the only one whose face I don't remember, however much I try. But I somehow seem to remember that she was one of my kindergarten teachers. Sorry, I don't remember anything more. :-(

I also realized I remembered a few watchmen, so going to list them out here also.
Dinakar - A dark, burly pleasant-mannered watchman. Spoke cheerfully with us. :)

(Part 3 here)

PSBB Teachers 1 - Intro & Shubha Miss

I think any talk of school-life tends to border around our innocence, enjoyment, childhood naughtiness, a lot of eternally green memories and unbridled fun. Seldom do we think about how much we are moulded as individuals and what shape our character takes. It is, of course, fair to say that we realize & feel becoming grown-ups (or however little/much we grow up :) during college-life, because that is when we consciously formed opinions (at least in the case of people born in 1980-1990, IMHO). However, I think a lot of it is already inside us by then, it merely becomes concrete and sizable enough to be called "opinion". Sort of like the construction material has already arrived, it just becomes a structure during college-life/late-teens.

Like most good movies/novels/lessons, the passage of time strengthens our opinion of the object itself, and Padma Seshadri Bala Bhavan Senior Secondary School is no exception. This is not the "oh...how I miss school-life sooo much, adult life sucks" kind of feeling that we generally have in the immediate aftermath of school/college-life. It is more of learning what and all I have learnt from school and how precious it seems, now, of all times. I must confess this realization has been accummulating for quite a while, due to a multitude of observations.

Anyhow, for some reason I still don't know why, I felt like writing a few words about my PSBB teachers, starting from my kg, from what little I remember of them. After finishing my BE and also when I returned to India after my MS, I visited the school, but wasn't able to meet most of the teachers who taught me during TP Road days, so I'm just satisfying myself by writing a few words about them. Hopefully, this gratitude (assuming it is real and not some fake show for increasing blog readership) will reach them somehow.

I asked myself why I wanted to do this - whether this was some spur-of-the-moment thought or an attention-grabbing idea or genuine gratitude. After all, to most people, their teachers are also special and equally great, right? Yes.

First, I don't want it to be misinterpreted that just because I am attempting something like this, PSBB teachers are the greatest (remember the "PSBB'na gethu, mathadhellam vethu" chants from school? :D). It is gross injustice to compare one teacher/school to another. Yes, there might be the odd one that screwed someone badly, but for most part, schools have gone a long way in moulding a child's character. I am basically doing this because I feel, as children, we seldom even acknowledged the contribution our teachers were making for us.

I recollect, retrospectively, now about how passionate my teachers in PSBB were (as also the other ones from other schools, but I dont know them, so I cannot talk about/thank them), as opposed to the didn't-get-an-IT-job-so-joined-some-Engineering-college kinds that are in abundance today. After all, Engineering colleges also have teachers, rather, are supposed to have "teachers".

Of course, there is also the fact that most of our teachers at PSBB were definitely quite well-off and probably became teachers because they were bored at home or didn't want to do any other job. Still, choosing to become a teacher is itself quite noble, and being a dedicated one at that, too, is praiseworthy, at the least.
So here goes my (hopefully) humble attempt at saying Shree Gurubhyo Namaha. :-)
And I really hope I am not going overboard with emotions or becoming needlessly senti about my childhood for whatever reason. Simply, "an objective grateful recollection of school teachers", is how I hope these posts are interpreted as.

For convenience's sake, I will start from Pre-KG. The memories are more structured then.
*PS: Though primarily a tribute, since I will travel through my childhood, one shouldn't mind if I occasionally recollect a few personal not-necessarily-related-to-any-teacher school-related memories. :)*
Pre KG/LKG/UKG - '87-'90
Shubha miss - It is about 20 years since I was in kindergarten, and you must accept my apologies when I am not able to recollect all the details of all my teachers in Pre KG, LKG and UKG. One of them that I do, is Shubha miss. I think my mom liked her a lot, and the imprint of her in my memory is probably more because of my mom's occasional reminiscences during the 4th-8th period which I remember, but I still can remember her somewhat - a tall gracious lady, probably, dusky complexion, with a slightly husky voice. I hazily remember a mostly-smiling face with a KR Vijaya'esque set of teeth. She was probably a Mallu, but I'm not sure.

(Part 2 here)

A few things I feel the reader must know...

I was born (in alphabetical order) -

1. Indian
2. Iyer
3. Tamilian
4. Theist
5. Vegetarian
   

• Up until a few years ago, I practised/identified myself with all of the above simply because I was born as that. Over the past few years, I have continued to identify myself as the above, though I have been trying to dig deeper and attach meaning to it, hence, practising whatever it is I am, with conviction and a firm sense of belief. However, the journey is, by all means, hard, with no easy answers.
  The order of difficulty, from how I understand, is -
  
  
• I make no bones about what constitutes my identity. I do not want to run away from it, nor do I want to hide it. And I also do not intend to flaunt it.
• I am explicitly mentioning all my identities so the reader knows my background while reading my posts (either to avoid being unnecessarily wrongly stereotyped or to ensure that the stereotyper realizes he has rightly stereotyped).
• A few of my posts have been controversial and have earned me much scorn from strangers and caused more than a few unpleasant issues with close friends, however, I do not wish to run away from controversy just because it is that. I have a lot of strong opinions on important issues and the purpose of bringing them to the public domain is in the hope that they would either be reaffirmed or proven wrong. Of course, I also understand that a few comments on some post in my blog definitely does not constitute irrefutable proof of whatever it is, but it will definitely add perspective to my thinking, which is one of the main purposes of this blog, incidentally.
• Though my posts will have a strong dose of Brahminism/Hinduism/Vegetarianism-influenced view-points (which includes not smoking, not drinking, among other trivialities), I do *NOT*, in this blog, promote/propagate/glorify any of it, simply because I do NOT have conclusive-enough information about the same.
  
• If you feel offended at anything I have written, it is MY responsibility. If you have misinterpreted it, though it is you who misinterpreted it, reading what I've written is what made you do it. Hence, I consider it my duty to make you understand/interpret it properly. If you still don't get it, then it means you are either too dumb (why are people dumb?) or too intelligent for me {not being sarcastic}.
• Which reminds me, I generally tend to have a heavy dose of sarcasm in a lot of my posts. It is my attempt at being humorous. Unfortunately though, sometimes, this attempted humour tends to fall flat because I happened to mix it with my beliefs/principles, even though I didn't try to promote it.
• I am generally concerned with hypocrisy. I have no idea why. And of late, I've been feeling stupid about it. I have no problems with people like Hawkeye (from whom, incidentally, this section was copied/inspired, though I've always wanted some kind of "about me") who openly accept to being hypocrites. Though (I believe) I am not a hypocrite and try to consciously follow it, I find it easier to relate to people like him. Until quite recently also, I thought sincere/true absence of hypocrisy was a virtue, no longer, though. Nevertheless, I try to continue to be a non-hypocrite, but will dissociate thoughts of virtue from this.
  
• A lot of my more serious posts (even if written [attempted-] humorously), might have a morose, complainatory (adj. - like a complaint) feel about them. That's because though I try to enjoy life and appreciate people, my intrinsic nature somehow ingeniously detects failings in people, issues_to_complain_about, etc. which, hitherto, I mostly expressed then-and-there to/in_front_of the person concerned. Now this resulted in a few issues -
  a. My impulsive reactions/feelings are notoriously error-prone. Blogging the issue ensures I've cooled down a bit and have been able to see the issue in calmer light, reflectively.
  b. 97.3% of people don't take criticism in the right spirit. Oh yes, they might smile and listen to you empathetically, but don't let that fool you. I have realized, after multiple fractures, that if you're acting in a potentially rift-inducing/offensive manner for a good cause, unless you're sure there is going to be a good effect, you are better off not acting that way.
  c. This blog also serves another main purpose of being my emotional dumping ground.
• When I blog about something, in general, I am quite passionate about it, or at least, am passionate about what I say about it. Though I feel right about it at the time of posting, I fully understand the likelihood of error (I am super-mortal), so it is possible that an opinion I posted some time back is not necessarily the one I currently subscribe to, though I will stand by it.
  
• I am serious about my blog (even if it's the attempted-yet-mostly-failed-humour posts which are present in abundance).
• I also try not to take my blog too/very seriously. Hence, nothing too personal (like a letter expressing my love for my mom on her birthday) or very serious (like my favourite God and why I like that God/an intensely exhaustive discussion on why smoking is bad, etc.) is likely to be covered.
• If you're a guy/girl from a somewhat-orthodox Brahmin family, some of my posts might make you wonder if I was the guy your mom wanted you to be like/marry (respectively), based on the superficial talk that is on ample display in this blog. Whether or not I am that (and more) or not, you have every right to judge, but don't judge me by these writings alone. :-)
• I do not intend to stand for elections in India any time soon, so I am definitely NOT on an image-building exercise (in the likely case that you feel I am trying to promote my unlikely [misplaced] "good" image).
  

All this apart, this blog is just another blog - covering anything under the sun which a random guy from Chennai wants to talk about. Feel free to say whatever you feel like (no abusive language please, if you want to offend me, by all means, do it, but in very dignified words; and if you feel I don't deserve that dignity, then it also means I don't deserve your offensive words :D).

New-York-City in a Jiffy

One of the good things about being an Indian grad student in the US is that you are, generally, good at day-to-day practical combinatorial optimization. Ok, I apologize for my badly-disguised attempt at flaunting my Computer Science credentials, I was just referring to our propensity to detect and analyze the most optimal ways to do stuff ranging from packing stuff into our suitcases to buying goods to planning trips - space, time and economic optimization techniques, if you can call them that. It doubly helps if you study at a university where even PhD students need to consistently worry about paying for their tuition - which means that being a lowly Masters student, you can rest assured that unless you're terribly lucky (know someone who can get your resume across to someone else who feels you're good enough to be a GA) or intimidatingly brainy (read being good enough to be an RA/TA for a prof that has enough money to fund your course-work, while a Masters student), you've got to rely on cash cows (aka parents) or sharks (banks) for tuition and the $7.5/hour on-campus job for your living.

Anyhow, such is the grind that even after having moved on to supposedly higher things in life (like working, being employed, having a job, etc.), old habits die hard, that too, with a vengeance. This vengeance especially helps when you've been hit by the recession at least once and madly enough, bring your parents here on a long vacation now, of all times.

So then, like most international bring-parents-to-the-USA-after-your-studies (no-longer) students, I endeavoured to take my parents on the Holy Grail of Materialism (and the epicenter of the global financial earthquake) - NYC.
Since both my budget and vacation days were tight, I decided to fit in the visit over a weekend. After all, NYC isn't exactly a place known for awe-inspiring natural sights where you can lose yourself admiring the beauty of nature for days on end.

Here's my trip in detail, I think it worked out quite well overall, an opinion reaffirmed by a few of my friends, and I hope it helps anyone wanting to simply visit or take your parents to show them NYC in a quick, cost-effective manner.

Date: Sept 19-20, 2009.

Travel & Stay -
I generally don't believe much in vacation packages like flight+hotel, flight+hotel+car, etc...., least of all on airline websites. Still, I just gave it a shot and browsed package deals on popular travel-sites. By a queer twist of fate, I chanced upon the American Airlines site where I got a more-than-just-decent package - return tickets from Chicago to New York for 3 people + 1-night stay at the Hilton-Penn Station for $950.00
I was initially skeptical since it worked out to about $316.66 per person (yes, we ARE this detailed), but considering the fact that the average ticket rates hovered around the $290 - $340 range when looked for tickets, plus at least 75 bucks for even a half-decent hotel, I think 950 was a fair call.
If you're going to NYC, you need to figure *specifically* where you want to stay. If you're a million-miles-away-from-a-millionaire-background guy like me, staying in any of even the decent hotels in Manhattan is out of question, they cost upwards of $200 per night (ok, literary exaggeration - you don't need to be a millionaire to stay in Manhattan, but I hope you catch the drift). There are a (very) few sub-100 hotels in Manhattan, but they are definitely not places you'd want to take your parents to, that too at night. Which then brings you to New Jersey, mainly Jersey City. There are a lot of somewhat-decent sub-100 hotels (motels, more like) in Jersey City, but the problem is transportation. You'd need to get a bus to the nearest train station (PATH transit) which gets you to NYC, and these buses aren't very safe+reliable+frequent at night. Hence, Hilton-Penn Station was quite a deal - apart from the Hilton brand name (obviously), there's a train station right below the hotel (well, ok not right below, like half a block away, and the station's connected to the hotel by a walkway too). Plus the hotel picks you up from Newark Airport (FREE shuttle, yes, like free food).

The Sights -

• Day 1 -
  
  • Reached Newark Airport at 11:15 AM, reached hotel at 12:15 PM. Though the official check-in time is 3 PM, if the room's available, they check you in early, else you can leave your baggage with them free of cost.
  • Statue of Liberty - The PATH train from Penn Station goes directly to WTC (Ground Zero) in about 30-40 minutes, from where the ferry station is like a 15-minute walk. You get to see the upcoming Freedom Tower plan, some of Wall Street and the Bull en route, so it's not a bad walk.
    *Alert* - Book your ferry tickets in advance here. Even with tickets, it's good to reach there at least 45 minutes early, the lines tend to get quite long, especially on weekends. I'd booked my ticket for 2 PM, and reached the ferry station at 1:30. :D Wicked, eh!
    So after the usual photo-session on the ferry and next to the Green lady, with the downtown Manhattan backdrop, etc., we returned from Liberty Island at about 5 PM.
    
    
  • Washington Square Park - We'd had a good breakfast before leaving Chicago, besides, my mom had packed some lunch in case we were cramped for time, so this helped us until 5. After returning from Liberty Island, we headed straight to Washington Square Park using the Subway (Oh, I forgot to tell, you can get the 1-day pass in any of the subway stations. Unfortunately, unlike Chicago, irrespective of when you buy the pass, it expires at 3 AM after its first use the previous day) to check out the famed NY Dosas . Unfortunately for us, the Dosa guy was off that day, so we headed from here to Saravana Bhavan (a very popular Indian vegetarian restaurant). Sadly for me, the meal here was better than any Indian restaurant in Chicago and though I thoroughly enjoyed the food, I was left ruing the lack of any equivalently good (Indian vegetarian) restaurant in Chicago.
    Anyway, the park itself is quite cute, with tons of people milling around - from doing nothing to reading books to practising a weird balance-this-item-on-your-leg game which was quite interesting. There's also a fountain and a lawn plus a place for your pets to have fun too.
  • Wall Street + NYSE - Whether or not you're into stocks, finance, etc., I'm sure you know at least that something from there bit you, and quite hard, at that. So you might as well see where it all started. So we then took the Subway to Wall Street. And yes, it did feel quite momentous, getting off at Broadway & Wall Street, and walking through NYSE and Trump Building, all the way to the beginning of Brooklyn Bridge.
  • Brooklyn Bridge - It was dark by now, and the city was lit up, and what better place to see the city than from Brooklyn Bridge? It's a long walk, so ensure you've got some energy and time with you if you want to spend some good time atop the bridge. The bridge and the views were beautiful, and if you're a couple, doubly so. ;-)
    After spending a good 45 minutes there, we realized it was close to 9 PM and headed straight to THE place to be on Saturday night.
    
    
  • Times Square - Again, you have easy Subway access from Brooklyn Bridge to Times Square and no, I'm not going to list out the routes. The weather that night was near-perfect, so it made for a wonderful time spent at Times Square. My parents were, needless to say, quite taken in by the lights and sounds there. There's also a big seating area bang in the middle of the road for you to just sit and soak in the sights of the place.
    
    And so, after a tiring-yet-satisfying half day, we head back to the hotel, again, using the Subway and the PATH transit back to NJ.
    
    
• Day 2
  
  • Empire State Building - Woke up on Sunday at about 8 and left straight for the Empire State which opens at 9. The crowd wasn't that bad, but the travel agents who kept bugging us outside were. Well, even if we own the tower taller than Empire State, courtesy demands we have a look-out from atop Empire State as well, and trust me, you won't be disappointed. The best pic was of the Statue of Liberty, tiny, but no less attractive.
    After a good time there, we walked a bit to grab some lunch before our final stop for the trip.
    
    
  • Madam Tussaud's - At 35 bucks per head, it is definitely not cheap, but the place is great fun, especially if you like famous people/history. A decent visit there needs about 2 hours, not more.
    Once outside, we hung around Times Square (in day-time) for some more time and finally, bid farewell to the endearing city at about 3 PM (not before some much-needed drama of course, missing our 5 PM-flight at JFK and then catching the next available flight from La Guardia).
    

Retrospectively, a fair call, I felt. Here's a jist of the places we covered in about 27 hours -

• Statue of Liberty
• Ground Zero/WTC
• Washington Square Park
• Wall Street
• New York Stock Exchange
• Broadway
• Brooklyn Bridge
• Times Square
• Empire State Building
• Madam Tussaud's

I felt these places best exemplify New York City to the average American tourist. Well, of course, there are many more places to see there, but if you're looking for a short, inexpensive, at-the-same-time not very strenuous, yet relatively exhaustive dekho of New York City, I'm sure these places are coverable over a weekend.

Stereotyping the Contemporary Intellectual - 3

Continued from Part 2 here

• Belonging to Vasudaiva Kutumbakam 1 - A direct implication of the example in the Mary/Peter category – Soru. I am not sure how prevalent this habit is, but a lot (a lot, yes, but not all) of these “intellectuals” religiously eat food from everywhere in the world – Ethiopian, Mexican, Chinese, Spanish, etc. I have nothing against any of these cuisines and it is nice to have a wide range of options, but these things irk me –
  
  1. I, who unabashedly, wholly does NOT belong to this group, who is quite content with half-decent Indian food (or absolutely any food which is prepared in a safe [read purely vegetarian, far away from eggs, meat, fish or poultry] location), find myself ridiculously left-out and outvoted when in the company of such folks (on the rare occasions it happens) and
  2. Remember again that a lot of these folks (at least most of the ones I’ve observed) are MCSI-Brahmins? Which means they’ve been vegetarians for most part of their life. Whether these "intellectuals" are (newly-turned) atheists (agnostics, integral humanitarians, etcetera) who continue to be vegetarian (even though they discard god, a few “intellectuals” might continue to stick to vegetarianism and being “intellectuals”, they need to have a strong feeling towards anything => if vegetarian, they believe in it strongly) or (minority) the still-believing-in-Brahminism/religion junta, eating in restaurants overflowing with non-vegetarian food simply reeks of hypocrisy. How, oh how on earth they can bear to see dead animal pieces next to the food they consume, I cannot understand (I am, in this sense, an "antillectual", if you might).
  3. Among the minority that are still-practising-(pseudo)-Brahmins, but anyhow eat with relish in every such (God-forsaken) international restaurant, and then talk (often in a dreamy-eyed manner and/or ethereal tones which is supposed to convey that they are in a Kadavul-induced-trance or state of divine bliss) about what Maha Periyava says about Brahmins or throw at you the 6th stanza of the Soundarya Lahari, asking you to marvel at its beauty or wax eloquence at Dikshitar's krithi and it's profound philosophical/religious inspiration - to me, it simply doesn't fit. I am probably dumb, athi-moorkaha or whatever, for linking two irrelevant issues, but this whole package doesn't come across as genuine/true.
  
  Note here that I am not an Indian fundamentalist promoting Indian food and advocating that Indians eat only Indian food. I love my filter coffee and feast on Paneer, knowing fully well that neither is indigenous to India. But the point here is eating something just because it is another cuisine, and doing so often enough, just to prove that you are a global citizen. It is almost like people who start smoking because they feel cool doing it. And whether the food is nice or not, trying to enjoy it so that you feel good at having eaten international cuisine.
  Which now leads me to another sub-classication of these international-cuisine-folks -
• Never cook at home.
• Eat that Bruschetta at the Italian/Spanish restaurant, come back home and start making it regularly (if married, often with the spouse) and then start a food blog. Include chweet lines like "The husband made some panini bruschetta sprinkled with toasted almonds today. Yay! Love you, dear!" and other corny equivalents. Seriously.
  And no, this is not a whine from a singleton who is calling the grapes sour because he doesn't have a wife to dote foodily on.
  

Intriguing how most of the "intellectual" couples either love cooking together, often multi-cuisine delicacies or not cooking any cuisine at all (hey, didn't you know how healthy the food is at Chipotle's, Subway, Taco Bell, etc.?).

• Philosophical Thanni - Ha, this is one elite group, I tell you. Again, I wouldn't want to hazard a generalization like majority of the "intellectuals" or something (though I won't be surprised if such a generalization is indeed valid), but this much I can be sure - majority in this sub-group is obviously guys (again, it might be my ignorance too, but I can say only as far as I've seen). So then, these "dudes" obviously drink. Fine. No big deal. But the justifications and explanations for their drinking - nothing short of poetry. "Enakku thanni adikka pudichirukku, I derive pleasure from it, though I know it's bad" - apdinu sollittu poinde irundha naan edhukku indha maadhiri oru bullet'a ezhudha poren? Starting with social drinking (which, IMHO, deserves a separate punishment in the Indian Penal Code, by itself), they go on to put all kinds of weird fundae into the heads of ordinary, un"intellectual" folks like me, so much so that after a point of time, we (the un"intellectuals") feel ashamed and philosophically backward for being non-drinkers (or teetotalers, to be more general). Really, I mean it. I've personally gone through this once, the dude in question being the same guy who spoke those priceless words in the Mary/Peter category.
• Belonging to Vasudaiva Kutumbakam 2 - Applies to all types of "intellectuals" - whether atheistic, agnostic, totally-believe-in-Brahminism, currently-believing-in-Brahminism, etc. When it's time for Dum Dum Dum, anybody and everybody will do. Though the still-Brahmin kinds will initially stick to believing in same-caste marriage, they will, in due course of time, come around to trashing it, having moved on to "higher" things and realizing the utter insignificance and childishness in such beliefs.
  A few memorable quotes these "intellectuals" use to justify their inter-caste marriage (these people specifically belong to the born-Brahmin-believed-in-Brahminism-for-almost-all-their-life-and-even-now-selectively-believe-in-Brahminism-but-are-going-to-marry-inter-caste category) -
  a) "i believe its upbringing thats imp and providing the right atmosphere, attitude and opportunities that will promote preserve the culture
  i believe i can do that.
  i knew that h** family and (?)he have the right mindset and background..wrt education/appreciation of arts and culture..apart from that there will be differences.."
  b) "but i realised that brahmin-a eruntha mattum pothaathu... its the personal behaviour which makes u what u are.."
  Quiz: Can you identify the gender of the two characters above? [MP, MM, PM, PP]
  
  In future, I see this attribute being upgraded to a version whose traits will include looking down on same-caste couples; upon seeing a person wearing the Veebuthi or Bottu, staring at the mark for an unnecessarily-long time, intentionally starting a related topic and concluding that wearing such marks is anti-philosophical, anti-spiritual, etc., ending up making you feel like Manohar Parrikar when he lost the confidence vote.

And I shall stop right there. I wanted to include these two categories as well -

• Do Jalsa and show Jilpa via the blogs they write. ;-) [Remember, the "intellectual" isn't necessarily always an Indian in USA]
• Return from USA and direct movies like Hyderabad Blues.

But since I am sure there is a massive group out there that (whether "intellectual" or not) overwhelmingly supports such "intellectuals" and will be after my blood just because I mention them in this list without understanding that my calling them "intellectuals" is more light-hearted satire than derogatory criticism/mockery, I shall digress.

In my observation, I have tried to remain as objective as possible (by me ;), without criticizing or frowning upon the "intellectual" characteristics I observed, something I usually do. I admit there might've been one or two instances where my exasperation got the better of me, but I suppose that is understandable, because of the weight of that issue. I must also admit that I fall under one or more of the categories above, so if you feel I'm pulling your leg, understand that I'm pulling mine too (ok, my knee or foot...leg only for thoroughbred "intellectuals" :D).

Stereotyping the Contemporary Intellectual - 2

Continued from Part 1 here

• Leaning to the Left: This, I think, is somewhat of a minority, but it seems to be growing. Ironically, such notions tend to develop in the US of A. :D
• The "OMG, that's 150 Calories! That means 10 more minutes on the treadmill"-kind: Fitness is important, no doubt. Daily exercise is important, definitely. But for them, this borders on obsession. Irrespective of whether they are thin or fat (btw, did I tell you, most "intellectuals" are either incredibly lean or pucca figures [purely geometric usage of the word, not to be confused with the generic usage and start wondering about my orientation just because this usage is being applied to guys also, I’m perfectly straight, thanks], whether they are guys or girls?). It especially gets scary when you inadvertently overhear or become part of the said-group for some occasional dinner or something. One session of ordinary soru, and you end up with a feeling that your eating habits apparently hover around the Bakasura and Ghadothkacha mark.
  PS: Guy “intellectuals” can be excused for this one, as it predominantly applies to girl “intellectuals”. Guys, after all, are a trifle less appearance-conscious than girls, so when they see good food, even “intellectual” guys let go. But they would, of course, compensate in the gym, kindly note.
• They are classified not as Male/Female but as Mary/Peter - Ok, before you misunderstand, they are not the kinds that will put Peter for the sake of vetti-scene. They have a strong grasp over the language (mainly English) and more specifically, they suffer from a disease where they simply cannot communicate simple emotions in simple words.

Sample this –
"Since my stream of consciousness veered into food, here is one more update. To all, never go to a Spanish restaurant and order a Paella (Paeya) if you don't know what it is."
Meaning - Since I spoke about food, let me advise you not to go to a Spanish restaurant and order........
(Eh, Payya’va? Karthi Sivakumar padam per maadhiri irukku, idha poi Spain’la saapduvaala?)

Another example -
"Suck it up RK, we finally went to Toro and had "Maiz Asado Con Alioli Y Queso Cotija la especialidad de la casa," alright will cut the crap, corn in butter and cheese was freaking awesome."
Meaning - Saavu da RK, we went to Toro and ate a dish (made of corn in butter and cheese) which was semma tasty.
PS: I'm assuming this is the meaning, as, possibly, the speaker and RK were supposed to go to the said restaurant together, but somehow, the speaker beat RK to it; or some similar equivalent situation.

I confess to having used "freaking awesome" once or twice in my life, but the rest of the stuff, I generally have to read once or twice to understand the words fully, sometimes even Google their meaning/usage. And please, I'm not this English-ignorant-for-the-sake-of-GRE-mug-Baron's or Rapidex-Learn-English-in-20-days aasaaami also. Simply by looking at my blog, my English marks in CBSE school [oh, how naive can you get, Kaushik?] and the fact that I was one of my English teacher's fav students (mainly for academic reasons, but the fact that I also admired Madhubala, the original Bollywood beauty, also helped) in high school (albeit Matric). Plus also the fact that in my blog, almost 99% of my writings are grammatically correct, which is no mean feat, considering I've been blogging for almost 2 years now (albeit, with no significant blog-following :D). Basically, what I want to say is - I know some English, sariya? But I don't know too much English, nowhere near even a quasi-pulavan, like what some of my lesser-inclined-to-English friends complain, about being unable to comprehend my blogs. From what I know and hear from them, the subject content of my blog becomes clearer on 2^nd or 3^rd reading (though I doubt if there's anyone with that much patience :P), sometimes conveying a different message each time. I'm also sure my writings convey a different meaning to people who know me (rather, are acquainted with me for a period of time) and another one to first-time readers or people who aren't acquainted much with me. But the important thing here is that none of this is due to the language, this is (only, if I may add...) due to the content and how I've presented it, as also the topic itself. My blogs would hardly have 2-3 GRE words.
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But these Mary's and Peter's, their vocabulary is predominantly made up of such GRE words, often reaching above the GRE level also. :D And let me also add, I am sure I will definitely fall into one (or more) of the above categories of "intellectuals", but I surely surely don't belong to this one.

• Kannaadi/Ara-nikkar, etc. – Ok, this is surely not applicable to all “intellectuals” (though it might, I am not sure) and this will highly coincide with the chilrai-pisth-cases whose sole aim in life is to earn money and show the world that, in different forms. Karuppu Kannadi (‘Shades’, they are called) enge ponaalum pottukkanum. Idhula enna koduma’na, Madras’la (referring to MCSI’s mainly from Chennai and also hot places from South India), US’la irukkardhoda 10-madangu jaasthi veyyil, for most of the year, aana US’ukku vandhu dhan “shades”. Note specifically that these people generally don't flaunt wealth back home in India, like the "other" group, which indulges in extra-show on that once-in-two-years India trip.
  Also, going out with friends to the movie or any casual hang-out will invariably have to be in mukka-pant or ara-nikkar (provided the weather is conducive). Really. And this applies to both Mary and Peter. Period.

Update 1:

• "Naan kadaisiya paatha English padam 'Sunset Boulevard'" & VS Naipaul kinds - This is a sure-fire way. Confirmed'unga. They swear by Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino is God. Problem is, only he is god (IMHO, he is also God, one among the trinity, but there are others, and there are Indians). Vishal Bhardwaj is just a cheap imitation. Indian movies suck. Period. Mani Ratnam was a good director. Indian cinema died after Nayagan. Variations include moving on to other international-language movies - French, Polish, Italian, etc. and revisiting all English classics from the '40s and '50s.
  As far as readership is concerned, abstract philosophy is the in-thing. Richard Dawkins is widely-read.
• The "NeenGa rOmbo nallavanga" types - Oh yes, another easy one. Since they are fitness conscious and are invariably good runners, they usually associate themselves with some charity fund like Asha and run to raise money. Then forward emails asking us to contribute. Incidentally, this led me to post this. :D
• Forward-phobia - They are utmost forward-thinkers, but hate to forward and hate forwards. The rare forward that they do send will be screaming with "intellectualism". Easily you will be able to recognize it. And that is to show to us that - "Hey dho paaru, naan summa summa indha maadhiri sirippu mootradhukkum, podhu ariva valakkarthukkum forwards'laam anuppara type illa. Naan anupcha adhu unique'a irukkum (just like me)." You must assume you hear the sender say this when you get that once-in-a-blue-moon "intellectual" forward from someone. And foremost among the rare gems they send will include one from the previous category. If not for them, for their "intellectual" friend (obviously!).
  

Go to Part 3