Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Why Juliet won't help...

Temporal Locality -

Locality of Reference -
(Courtesy: thalaivar Simbu :P) - Lakshmi, Padmini, Vidya, Rekha, Sita, Gita or Vinitha...

Ok, so without misleading you to any further misconceptions, let me assure you that I am not likening myself (us) to either hero (Sidharth or Simbu). Well, actually, only Sidharth is relevant here, primarily due to the "We need a Juliet"-factor, only, in our case, we'd probably be needing any of the names above and not a "Juliet".
By we, it's primarily me and my closest buds (for sake of privacy, I am not mentioning the names of my upto-now-and-currently-single 2 best friends, kh kh kh). We have wondered, more out of jobless dejection & job/post-MSEC induced frustration added by a (minor but not-insignificant) dose of post-teenage testosterone, about how better life would be if we had had a girlfriend/lover/soulmate. Obviously, nalla pasanga naanga, so any of the 3 words would refer to a girl each of us intended to marry and took seriously, as opposed to kadalai or flirting or time-pass. Another major influence on us thinking on these lines is the abundance of couples (married or committed) that surround us. And the list seems to rapidly increase by the day (with the addition of another new member barely a few weeks back). So please...before any of you term us "despos", take into consideration all these factors. That being said, if you still think we are despos, we probably are! :P
But why I actually feel we are technically not despos is because, primarily, we best friends have been separated by physical distance. Leave alone best friends, even good friends that were made in college aren't around. Not that we are totally isolated wherever we are. I, for one, am blessed with 3-4 wonderful friends here in Chicago. Yes, the number might not be large, but I'm ok with this small number as long as they are genuine people and good folks, as opposed to kooth-adichufying junta and for-the-sake-of-freaking-out gumbal. Let me confess (with a sheepish expression on the face in the mind), I haven't touched liquor or smoked or been to, ahem, well...Ok, that's not entirely true. I've handled dozens of bottles of alcohol while working at the departmental store, and personally sold tons of cigarettes, besides a few con***s (including one to a 70-something guy who insisted on lubricated ones). And yes, I've been to a disco 2 times (the second time to show my very-interested friend another of the grandeurs of Chicago :D). But the point is, I sometimes feel I haven't a 'strong' "gang" here due to these not-so-sociable habits of mine (which includes not eating out at non-vegetarian restaurants => only Arya Bhavan, Udupi Palace, Mysore Woodlands and Uru Swathi are the 4 realistic options [:-(] I have here). So this is bullshit right - not having friends because of some extrinsic supposedly good habits? Yes pure bullshit, I think the reasoning is as flawed as can be. Which can only mean I've woven myself into a shell. But I don't remember being this unfriendly or unsociable or introverted kind of bloke back home, especially towards the latter stages of college life. Whatever. But this whole analysis of friends and their availability/proximity (lack of, more like) was because I personally feel we, being social animals, need likable and like companionship to row along life. If we take out family and close friends, the next available option appears to be, logically and in the current chronological scenario, soulmate/girlfriend/lover-girl. Seriously, I don’t at all think I would be ruing my singularity if I were in Chennai with Keshav and my parents around me (besides MSEC :D), or, [realized-more-recently] in Silicon Valley, where more known-to-me people live than I ever knew were in the US. My life demands a sense of familiarity, I think. So what's with being single? Just that we are ready to mingle. And do some jingle (Lame rip-off from Jeppiaar...kindly adjust). So the major advantage (among others...;) of being committed to a female is that you can, without any major health-related worries, be synesthetic. Like feeling caterpillars-in-their-final-stages-of-life in your stomach when thinking about somebody. Like feeling physically hungry and totally satisfied/contented at the same time. Like being reasonlessly crazily happy from time to time. Well probably not entirely only these chilly peelings, but see the point? Like I'm not sure what I want a girl for...I mean, I don’t think it's fair for me to be committed just because of some situational requirements and logistical constraints. Like I am not entirely convinced I would want to have a romantically-inclined-feminine-soul-mate if I was back at home, or in the midst of friends someplace like SJC. Yes, I would love to have this girl I have so fallen for. Someone I'm implicitly and explicitly mad about. Someone whom I would want to love loving. Quite romantic and nice to hear, but this should Happen right? As opposed to "want to happen", which, I think, is our dilemma right now. I, for sure, don't want to become committed to a poor girl because I'm far away from friends and parents and home, and because I feel left-out in this rat-race called "Get Committed". :D Just kidding all you lover-boys and lover-girls, before y'all start gunning for my head. You see, there is this fundamental difference between "need" and "want". And of course, there's the "it is destined"-factor (partly inspired from Slumdog Millionaire). Besides, there are quite a lot of responsibilities in a committed man's life. *Sigh*
Ok so the responsibilities are not strictly confined to 1.5 mozham malligai poo and kaal kilo halwa (wait, this is only for the latter stages of involved+passionate+willing+{consciously-enjoying} commitment right?) alone. Lol, still, there is this sense of unbridled freedom in being single. No, I'm not talking about going for dates or sappaiya-sight-adikkardhu. But you seriously live life king-size. No, I really mean it. You save as you want, you spend as you want. You don't have to wait for a second opinion about spending for your friend or giving money to some needy soul. You don't have to bother about the uni-directional flow from your account to your parents' account. And you don't have to keep in mind that additional soul always (which is what I would do, if committed).
Piss...And a few personal Problems - No no, I'm not going to crib about why (a lot of) girls don't like me or I don't get going with most of today's girls. That's secondary. In fact, that's quite insignificant and inconsequential. The thing is - I seem to have created such a hysteria wrt girls that if and when I get committed, whether or not I keep track of my female's dressing/habits/actions/words/thoughts/food-eaten/language-used/articles-read+written/degree-of-religiousness/customs-practiced/movies-liked/music-preferred/dupatta-worn/eyebrows-trimmed/etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, there's this overwhelming mass of my ardent friends who will be baying for the poor girl's blood more than me (which is quite something). And the poor girl will, I think, simply be swept off her (cute) feet. Spare her, no, let me spare her. :P
Mothathla matter enna'na...chi, I sound like a local chilrai-philosopher.
Ya, so this post, in effect, isn't a comparison between the advantages & disadvantages of being committed vs being single (Oh gosh, just the thought of such a tabular column is sending me into splits =)). And like you would (hopefully) have understood, it isn't a sob-story about the ineligibility of my bachelorhood either [:D]. Simply the realization that even if String theory IS indeed the theory of everything, you haven't understood it until you actually know it. Likewise, there is no point in wanting to fall in love for mortal reasons. Love is divine...(Ok, I give up, I couldn't control my laughter). Logically, you aren't in love until you Are in love. And you definitely will not BE in love if you WANT to be in love.
(Dho soltaarra Governor'u).
Adhaagapattadhu ennavendraal...ippo inge Juliet maadhiri oru ponnu irundhaalum prayojanam illaiyaam.
And what if never happens? Let's just reserve that judgement for later, shall we?

PPS: This post was begun a few weeks before my CA trip, but due to logistical reasons, could not be continued ;).