Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mokkai DB

(A collection of my mokkais from Twitter with most recent ones on top)
  • Q. If a bad-looking girl was a car, what would her legs be called?
    A. Attire
  • Q. Why did the C'tore Zamindar's son ask his asst to call him only Ayya in Delhi?
    A. Everytime his asst called him Chinna Jameen, ppl looked down
  • Q. Why did the Golti motorbike hesitate to talk to unknown older cars?
    A. He felt foolish saying Car'gaaru.
  • Q. Why do the French remember Napoleon everytime someone pisses in his pants?
    A. He was the most famous victim of Waterloo.
  • Isn't it ironic that we say it's Sunny when the Sun is shining brightly while Sani is actually Saturn?
  • Which Indian-American is worthy of the Padma Bhushan directly (skipping the one prior)?
    Padmashree Warrior.
  • Q. What did Raghuvaran say when folks asked him about the iPad?
    A. iKnow.
  • On the controversy of Sant Singh Chatwal getting a Padma award, noted word-player Cho characteristically said - "That's Bad ma."
  • Q. Why is it sweet to hear/read the entire Ramayana?
    A. Because it is SamPoorna Ramayanam.
  • Q. What did the turtle from the ocean tell the frog who refused to come out?
    A. All izz not well.
  • Q. What does a mathematician tell once he's proven a set is empty?
    A. All izz Null
  • Q. What is the diff. b/w the 2008 & 2009 credit crises?
    A. One was started by Wall St, the other was started by Chetan Bhagat.

  •  Why is that we always go Ga-Ga over a piece of great music, but not Sa-Sa or Ri-Ri?
  • Why are Hindi-speaking Aeroplane-travellers generally in a holiday mood?
    Because they are in a Hawaii Jahaaz. :)
  • Gun'a sutta bullet varum...aana Bullet'a sutta Police varum.
  • How to propose to a girl #430: For others, "Home is where the heart is", for me "Your heart is where my home is"
  • What is the diff bet Spielberg & Vijay - Spielberg used many Avatars in one movie, Vijay uses the same Avatar in many movies. 
  • If we can have guys named Deve Gowda, why can't we have girls named Reethi Gowla?
  • Q. Why did the rice cooker fail?
    A. Because it had too much prestige and couldn't handle the resulting pressure.
  • Meanwhile, Thenisai Thendral Deva expressed disappointment that Telengana overshadowed his latest Tamil gaana song.
  • Not to miss out on the fun, SSS Ravishankar said-"Why are ppl fighting for new states? All they need is a peaceful state of mind."
  • Astute political observer Cho astutely observed - "The youth of today are so fast that fasting is too slow a satyagraha for them."
  • Q. What would a Tamil dubbing of Slumdog Millionaire shot in the Rann of Kutch be called?
    A. Kutcheri
  • Rendu kaal'na adhu arai...
    Arai kaal'na adhu thodai.
  • Q.Why is a slap called "Arai"?
    A. A slap is only with 1 hand. Man has 2 hands. 1/2 = Half. Half in Tamil is Arai.
  • What is the Congressi's favourite mind-game?
    A. Pseudoku
  • What would Steve Jobs name a video game with Rahul Gandhi as the main character - iCon.
  • Q. Which appalam is male? (Hint: It's also made by a male, a young one at that) -
    A. Ambi Ka Appalam.
  • Vaithula paala vaakkalaam, aana vaithula dosai'ya vaakka mudiyuma?
  • Why do elders advise us against the pursuit of material wealth? - Because it is Assettuthanam. 
  • If Anjali Tendulkar had a brother and he was a Tamilian, what would he be called? - Deiva-machaan
  • Monday annikku mokkai podalaam, aana mokkai annikku mandaya poda mudiyuma?
  • Q. Kadavul yen Eve'a pazham saaptadhukku punish panninnaar?
    A. Yaenna Eve romba Adam pudichu pazhathai vaangi thinnaal.
  • Q. What would President Pratibhasingh Patil be if she was a musical instrument?
    A. Her initials.
  • Q. What happens to Logic when it is used by journos like Sagarika & Barkha?
    A. It becomes Tragic.
  • Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas'ku enna dhan PERIYA per irundhalum "Superstar" maadhiri "periya" per irukka?
  • Rajinikanth enna dhan Sivaji'la Boss'a irundhalum avaraala Vaas maadhiri bowling poda mudiyadhu.
  • Why do they call it Auto-Pilot when it's a plane that's flying? Appo auto enna thanaava odradhu?
  • A rumour can become a fact, but a fact can never become a rumour.
  • If blogging is like vaazha-elai-saappadu, twitter is like norukku-theeni.
  • Why do we gen. say "Besh, Idli apdiye malliga maadhri irukku," but never "Aaha, malliga poo enge vaangine? Apdiye Idli pola irukku?" :-?
  • Marriage between homosexuals should be legalized, but given a different name. Say, something like "Homage".
  • How can anyone "bite the dust"? You can either lick dust or swallow it. But, bite? (Unless, of course you have an eatable called "the Dust").
  • Tharailayum mannu irundhadhu. Enakkum meesai irundhudhu. Still meesaila mannu ottalai. Yen? Yenna naan keezhe vizhave illai.
  • Meesai irundhum naan keezha vizhundhappo en meesaila mannu ottalai. Yen? Yenna vizhundha edathla manne illai.
  • Nethi saayangaalam naan keezha vizhundhum en meesaila mannu ottalai. Yen? Yenna mundhanethikku naan meesaiya shave pannitten.
  • Vara vara makkalukku "Lol" romba jaasthiya aagi pochu.
  • You know Telugus are Serious abt Software Engg when even a Mech Engr woos his gal using a song on data structures
  • Was "That's it" somehow derived from/inspired by "tat sat"?
  • Only when we are on our deathbed and think abt the problems we had at 1/4th our age is it proper 2 b called Quarter-life Crisis.
  • Q. What is a Guy who tweets joblessly called?
    A. Twettipayal.
  • Q. What is the ultimate form of pig-headedness?
    A. Spreading swine flu without having it.
  • Manushan Gaanda Irundha Mirugam aaga mudiyum, aana Gaanda Mirugam enna pannaalum Manushan aaga mudiyadhu.
  • Gaanda mirugam eppovume Gaanda irukkuma?
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