Thursday, June 26, 2008

Silent Satisfaction...Humble Happiness

I will not go into the story of my life and my transformation from PSBB to DAV to MSEC. Let's just take it that I was a total introvert in PSBB with few friends, a partially total pure-academic geek, then started opening up in DAV - was labelled a flirt there, pretty open-spoken and known quite well to the teachers, for being somewhat of an enigma as far as my academics were concerned. Also, my teachers knew me quite well in PSBB for being this totally chamathu and sincere boy, very respectful to all teachers (which I still am), but nowhere near what I am known for MSEC. Hence, it was not exactly a trip down memory lane when I went to my alma mater yesterday (I probably would never call MSEC my alma mater because I believe I will be associated with it all my life, at least, hopefully ;). Since I was not very different in DAV from my MSEC days, (though there existed quite a marked change, it wasn't as different as how I was in PSBB), the feeling, though definitely different, had traces of what I am today.
PSBB, on the other hand, was a totally different experience. First up, I had to introduce myself to YGP ma'm a few times, obviously, she never knew me as long as I studied there, and though I had visited her to seek her blessings before I left in 2006, the Grand Old Lady surely did not remember me, though she tried her best. And again, my identity was further enunciated by my reference to a couple of my classmates - Harish Anand and Sanjeev Vaidyanathan, for her to place my batch, at least. And though most of the teachers remembered my face (I met Rama Narayanaswamy mam {my class teacher and Math teacher in 10th}, Vijayalakshmi mam (English teacher who knew me, but did not handle any subject), Raji Babu mam (Chemistry teacher), Mahalakshmi Ramjee mam (Economics and Geography), Hemalatha Seshadri mam (History) and Vaidehi mam (Math, but did not handle for me), only Mahalakshmi mam spontaneously burst out my name, and Vaidehi mam managed to hit upon my name after constructing some proof trees. Sample this with an event (shocking to me) that happened yesterday - a couple of my sub-juniors had come to visit me yesterday, and one of their sub-juniors was asking my sub-junior about a mini-project. Since she was talking on the Speaker phone, and I chanced upon a favourite topic (Our HoD), unable to resist, I blurted out some gyan on the speaker phone. The sub-sub-sub-junior asked my sub-junior who this gyan-giver was, my sub-junior replied saying it was a senior, nay super-senior. And despite my Pillar-hype I wasn't even prepared for what was coming next. The sub-sub-sub-junior quite casually replied on the phone - "Oh...Kaushik anna'va? Ok Ok." I lost it there.
Coming back, it was seriously a humility-enhancing experience in PSBB. It's a very sweet and cute kind of happiness that you derive out of being someone quite inconspicuous, and still, going back to that place because you have some sort of attachment and gratitude to the place. Not to forget, of course, the feeling of self-satisfaction you get, at being true and thankful despite not being someone famous and well-known. This different sort of happiness, in a sense, made my day.