Saturday, September 20, 2008

Crazy Bugger!

I know I do get weird dreams, most of us do, but this was one of its kind.
As usual, around early morning. I guess around 5.00-5.20 AM, because when the alarm went off at 5.20, the dream was concluding. But it might be the temporal locality thing from Comp Arch.
This dream was basically a mini-documentary type movie. Obviously, there is this guy-girl love, say B1 and G1. G1’s parents don’t know of this ‘affair’ of hers. Then, something really crazy happens. The guy somehow manages to kill the girl (I’m pretty sure inadvertently). The modus operandi, I vaguely recollect, has something to do with a gentle hilly area, some trees and a slope. Then there’s this close friend of B1 – B2 (let’s say), who is like really close and knows what happened. Then there’s this court case and all that. The protagonist here is B2, because most of the movie/dream is from his point of view. He is asked to testify (In fact, I am B2, or at least, I feel I am B2 for now, because I felt the lie-detector test, but I will not refer to B2 as because of something later on). Now, some part of B2’s character was actually an offshoot of my actual nature, and though B2 wants to tell the truth, he is also driven by two major factors –
  1. B1 killed the girl inadvertently and hence, doesn’t deserve the punishment.
  2. G1’s parents don’t know of the affair, and B2 feels it should remain as it is.(There is also a blurry memory of B1 and G1 “mudichufying matter” because of which B2 wants to ensure that G1’s parents remain ignorant of their girl’s deeds so their last memories of her aren’t negative or depressing. Now, I’m not actually sure why this “matter panra” part came into – it seems like it has a genuine part in the theme, but it might as well be Tamil cinema effect. But I am surprised I, of all people, thought this :P).
So then, when testifying, I try very intently to tread on this thin path which lies between not saying the truth and not saying a lie. I actually don’t remember the technicalities, but over the investigation, I am also asked to take the lie-detector test as well (quite weird because I’m not the criminal, but I knew the truth, but I don’t think anybody knew that I was not saying the entire truth). So much so that I was actually trying to prepare for the Lie Detector Test! I even remember writing down both their names as part of the preparation (I just don’t remember the names! :(). So, some time during our court traversals, I (i.e. the dreamer me) was shocked to see one of my Department heads from my company (a slightly oldish vazhukka thalai who heads one of the main sub-divisions in our Technology group), KL being escorted somewhere. So later on, B1 is finally acquitted and while coming downstairs, the two of us (B1 and B2) see KL sitting behind a counter or something like that. It turns out that KL is a criminal behind bars and this is some sort of conversation window. There is a slight logistical issue here – while coming down the stairs, B1 and B2 see KL behind the counter, but KL can never see beyond the counter on his side. Once we are seated, i.e. B1 and KL are face-to-face but with an opaque barrier between them, but with the ability to communicate. Now it’s kind of nonsensical because I don’t think B1 and B2 or KL know any of each other. So, it was something like this Confession window (so to say). Since B1 was feeling quite guilty and wanted to totally vomit the truth to somebody (this, I guess, is again the conscience of the dreamer me since I want the truth totally out somewhere and I probably went into B1’s conscience), he starts telling the entire truth to KL, who proves to be a good listener. Then, some interruption occurs, and both B1 and B2 turn away for a few minutes to talk/see what the issue is with somebody. When we turn back and see, the barrier is gone and there sits KL with some wires connected and a mike to record. Turns out that he was a fusion between the jury/judge/detective and had somehow elicited the full confession of B1. :D
Now another crankiness – B1 is actually cornered and supposed to be apprehended, but the concluding part of the dream has B1 going back home in a car with his dad driving, who has come to know that B1 had actually been responsible for G1’s death. B1’s dad has some sort of cold fury within him, and questions B1 throughout the hilly car journey and suddenly, B1’s dad says something on the lines of “This is how G1 would have felt” and drives the car straight onto a hill-slope and the movie/dream dramatically concludes with this single frame I remember – B1 in the car, with the car upside down, hanging by/onto a tree and the screen goes blank.

PS:

1. I am not sure what happened to B1. I think B1 died, probably not, but I’m pretty sure B1’s dad lived, after (supposedly) teaching B1 a lesson. I also think B1’s mom was in the car, but she was a silent spectator during the entire conversation, and she too survived.

2. I have absolutely no aspirations as a film-maker/story writer, never had, and probably never will have. All I have been associated with movies, apart from watching them, are dancing (which is more personal and social gathering-type than cinema), stunts (I just love and have this crazy desire to do a lot of stunts from the movies), a once-or-twice desire to act in a Mani Ratnam movie once I returned to India immediately after finishing MS here (which was, incidentally, the starting point of my plan to try and make Trisha also fall in love with me and later on marry ---Joke/serious comedy---), more recent occasionally rare desires to act as a Villain and finally, based mainly on friends’ wishes about making a movie out of my life, especially the part from my 11th in DAV to end of MS (Back in DAV, the proposal was mooted by one girl, who named the movie ‘Paakka Paakka’ :D …. because Kaakha Kaakha was ‘happening’ then {Interestingly, Paaka Paaka was mooted by the girl as an attempt to ottify me and another girl, but Tejaswi, Keshav and others planned the same name to a movie which was supposed to be more a depiction of what happened those subsequent years in and after school}).

3. After waking up, I thought this –B2’s noble intentions notwithstanding, a postmortem test on G1’s body would have revealed that she had, indeed, “done matter” with B1. Not so logically, this didn’t seem to happen or exist as an option.

4. I have cautiously referred to having s*x by various references as “doing matter”, “matter panradhu”, etc.

5. I managed to realize a couple of inspirations which might have possible influenced the dream/movie or its contents.

  • “The Partner” by John Grisham – I think the ending was more or less fashioned by this book’s ending. In a sense, quite anti-climactic.
  • The story of the Indian girl’s murder in Illinois – This, I realized only after I told the dream to my colleague who reminded me of the incident. This colleague, incidentally, works under KL’s team in my company.

6. Oh how I hate Tamizh cinema for making me bring in sex to my story also :(((((((((( -- (Incidentally, just in case you’re wondering if there were any depictions, NO, I was thankfully spared of that, it’s just that I (B2) knew B1 and G1 had done it, avlo dhan).

7. Is this worryingly insane?

Monday, September 15, 2008

(A?)typical Data Flow

Tejaswi, as always, even recently accused me of thinking too much. I vehemently disagreed saying there were instances when we have to think about and consider certain things, the failure to do which by a lot of people being the primary reason for a lot of things being screwed up and nonsense thriving today. But yes, I agree that I have a tendency to think too much or think lots of things from one issue occasionally. Now was one.
Let me also give you my background and current frame of mind. I am quite excited about the LHC being put to operation and though the success of the LHC would give a lot of the atheist physicists (a good many theoretical physicists are atheists) reason to crow about, I am, nevertheless, looking forward to knowing more about what happened those precious moments after the Big Bang. (Hope the guys at CERN dont screw us up, as feared by some. Still, despite my obvious concerns at dying before doing a lot of things in life as also dying when living away from parents and best friends, going down in such a dramatic fashion would be quite exciting. Imagine how it would be to be inside a black hole!).
Anyways, this just happened a few minutes ago when my mentor came to me and discussed a few things I had to do. Among other things, I had to implement a timer function to estimate the time taken by one of our applications to run, and he said it would possibly be of the order of microseconds. "Microseconds" immediately triggered the LHC in me (I hope you understood why). Since I had been thinking about discussing the LHC with Karthik Raghavan, I was prompted about a recent email-discussion with Karth Rags and Kesh which, incidentally, started about detachment (which, in turn, was because of an earlier discussion about vegetarianism with Kesh) and subsequently went to buying houses, wealth creation and the financial world. Which brings me back to where I am. And I realized my mentor had finished giving me the task and was back at his desk.
All this in a matter of seconds.
The power of thought, eh?

Yeah yeah, I hear all you guys sniggering about how I dont do my job at work. I cannot explain to you nincompoops about how I am using my office work as constructive inspiration for higher things.
:D :D :D

Some thought.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Situation Intro:


Situation Song:


Situation Conclusion:

All the best!