Stereotyping the Contemporary Intellectual - 3

Continued from Part 2 here

• Belonging to Vasudaiva Kutumbakam 1 - A direct implication of the example in the Mary/Peter category – Soru. I am not sure how prevalent this habit is, but a lot (a lot, yes, but not all) of these “intellectuals” religiously eat food from everywhere in the world – Ethiopian, Mexican, Chinese, Spanish, etc. I have nothing against any of these cuisines and it is nice to have a wide range of options, but these things irk me –
  
  1. I, who unabashedly, wholly does NOT belong to this group, who is quite content with half-decent Indian food (or absolutely any food which is prepared in a safe [read purely vegetarian, far away from eggs, meat, fish or poultry] location), find myself ridiculously left-out and outvoted when in the company of such folks (on the rare occasions it happens) and
  2. Remember again that a lot of these folks (at least most of the ones I’ve observed) are MCSI-Brahmins? Which means they’ve been vegetarians for most part of their life. Whether these "intellectuals" are (newly-turned) atheists (agnostics, integral humanitarians, etcetera) who continue to be vegetarian (even though they discard god, a few “intellectuals” might continue to stick to vegetarianism and being “intellectuals”, they need to have a strong feeling towards anything => if vegetarian, they believe in it strongly) or (minority) the still-believing-in-Brahminism/religion junta, eating in restaurants overflowing with non-vegetarian food simply reeks of hypocrisy. How, oh how on earth they can bear to see dead animal pieces next to the food they consume, I cannot understand (I am, in this sense, an "antillectual", if you might).
  3. Among the minority that are still-practising-(pseudo)-Brahmins, but anyhow eat with relish in every such (God-forsaken) international restaurant, and then talk (often in a dreamy-eyed manner and/or ethereal tones which is supposed to convey that they are in a Kadavul-induced-trance or state of divine bliss) about what Maha Periyava says about Brahmins or throw at you the 6th stanza of the Soundarya Lahari, asking you to marvel at its beauty or wax eloquence at Dikshitar's krithi and it's profound philosophical/religious inspiration - to me, it simply doesn't fit. I am probably dumb, athi-moorkaha or whatever, for linking two irrelevant issues, but this whole package doesn't come across as genuine/true.
  
  Note here that I am not an Indian fundamentalist promoting Indian food and advocating that Indians eat only Indian food. I love my filter coffee and feast on Paneer, knowing fully well that neither is indigenous to India. But the point here is eating something just because it is another cuisine, and doing so often enough, just to prove that you are a global citizen. It is almost like people who start smoking because they feel cool doing it. And whether the food is nice or not, trying to enjoy it so that you feel good at having eaten international cuisine.
  Which now leads me to another sub-classication of these international-cuisine-folks -
• Never cook at home.
• Eat that Bruschetta at the Italian/Spanish restaurant, come back home and start making it regularly (if married, often with the spouse) and then start a food blog. Include chweet lines like "The husband made some panini bruschetta sprinkled with toasted almonds today. Yay! Love you, dear!" and other corny equivalents. Seriously.
  And no, this is not a whine from a singleton who is calling the grapes sour because he doesn't have a wife to dote foodily on.
  

Intriguing how most of the "intellectual" couples either love cooking together, often multi-cuisine delicacies or not cooking any cuisine at all (hey, didn't you know how healthy the food is at Chipotle's, Subway, Taco Bell, etc.?).

• Philosophical Thanni - Ha, this is one elite group, I tell you. Again, I wouldn't want to hazard a generalization like majority of the "intellectuals" or something (though I won't be surprised if such a generalization is indeed valid), but this much I can be sure - majority in this sub-group is obviously guys (again, it might be my ignorance too, but I can say only as far as I've seen). So then, these "dudes" obviously drink. Fine. No big deal. But the justifications and explanations for their drinking - nothing short of poetry. "Enakku thanni adikka pudichirukku, I derive pleasure from it, though I know it's bad" - apdinu sollittu poinde irundha naan edhukku indha maadhiri oru bullet'a ezhudha poren? Starting with social drinking (which, IMHO, deserves a separate punishment in the Indian Penal Code, by itself), they go on to put all kinds of weird fundae into the heads of ordinary, un"intellectual" folks like me, so much so that after a point of time, we (the un"intellectuals") feel ashamed and philosophically backward for being non-drinkers (or teetotalers, to be more general). Really, I mean it. I've personally gone through this once, the dude in question being the same guy who spoke those priceless words in the Mary/Peter category.
• Belonging to Vasudaiva Kutumbakam 2 - Applies to all types of "intellectuals" - whether atheistic, agnostic, totally-believe-in-Brahminism, currently-believing-in-Brahminism, etc. When it's time for Dum Dum Dum, anybody and everybody will do. Though the still-Brahmin kinds will initially stick to believing in same-caste marriage, they will, in due course of time, come around to trashing it, having moved on to "higher" things and realizing the utter insignificance and childishness in such beliefs.
  A few memorable quotes these "intellectuals" use to justify their inter-caste marriage (these people specifically belong to the born-Brahmin-believed-in-Brahminism-for-almost-all-their-life-and-even-now-selectively-believe-in-Brahminism-but-are-going-to-marry-inter-caste category) -
  a) "i believe its upbringing thats imp and providing the right atmosphere, attitude and opportunities that will promote preserve the culture
  i believe i can do that.
  i knew that h** family and (?)he have the right mindset and background..wrt education/appreciation of arts and culture..apart from that there will be differences.."
  b) "but i realised that brahmin-a eruntha mattum pothaathu... its the personal behaviour which makes u what u are.."
  Quiz: Can you identify the gender of the two characters above? [MP, MM, PM, PP]
  
  In future, I see this attribute being upgraded to a version whose traits will include looking down on same-caste couples; upon seeing a person wearing the Veebuthi or Bottu, staring at the mark for an unnecessarily-long time, intentionally starting a related topic and concluding that wearing such marks is anti-philosophical, anti-spiritual, etc., ending up making you feel like Manohar Parrikar when he lost the confidence vote.

And I shall stop right there. I wanted to include these two categories as well -

• Do Jalsa and show Jilpa via the blogs they write. ;-) [Remember, the "intellectual" isn't necessarily always an Indian in USA]
• Return from USA and direct movies like Hyderabad Blues.

But since I am sure there is a massive group out there that (whether "intellectual" or not) overwhelmingly supports such "intellectuals" and will be after my blood just because I mention them in this list without understanding that my calling them "intellectuals" is more light-hearted satire than derogatory criticism/mockery, I shall digress.

In my observation, I have tried to remain as objective as possible (by me ;), without criticizing or frowning upon the "intellectual" characteristics I observed, something I usually do. I admit there might've been one or two instances where my exasperation got the better of me, but I suppose that is understandable, because of the weight of that issue. I must also admit that I fall under one or more of the categories above, so if you feel I'm pulling your leg, understand that I'm pulling mine too (ok, my knee or foot...leg only for thoroughbred "intellectuals" :D).

Stereotyping the Contemporary Intellectual - 2

Continued from Part 1 here

• Leaning to the Left: This, I think, is somewhat of a minority, but it seems to be growing. Ironically, such notions tend to develop in the US of A. :D
• The "OMG, that's 150 Calories! That means 10 more minutes on the treadmill"-kind: Fitness is important, no doubt. Daily exercise is important, definitely. But for them, this borders on obsession. Irrespective of whether they are thin or fat (btw, did I tell you, most "intellectuals" are either incredibly lean or pucca figures [purely geometric usage of the word, not to be confused with the generic usage and start wondering about my orientation just because this usage is being applied to guys also, I’m perfectly straight, thanks], whether they are guys or girls?). It especially gets scary when you inadvertently overhear or become part of the said-group for some occasional dinner or something. One session of ordinary soru, and you end up with a feeling that your eating habits apparently hover around the Bakasura and Ghadothkacha mark.
  PS: Guy “intellectuals” can be excused for this one, as it predominantly applies to girl “intellectuals”. Guys, after all, are a trifle less appearance-conscious than girls, so when they see good food, even “intellectual” guys let go. But they would, of course, compensate in the gym, kindly note.
• They are classified not as Male/Female but as Mary/Peter - Ok, before you misunderstand, they are not the kinds that will put Peter for the sake of vetti-scene. They have a strong grasp over the language (mainly English) and more specifically, they suffer from a disease where they simply cannot communicate simple emotions in simple words.

Sample this –
"Since my stream of consciousness veered into food, here is one more update. To all, never go to a Spanish restaurant and order a Paella (Paeya) if you don't know what it is."
Meaning - Since I spoke about food, let me advise you not to go to a Spanish restaurant and order........
(Eh, Payya’va? Karthi Sivakumar padam per maadhiri irukku, idha poi Spain’la saapduvaala?)

Another example -
"Suck it up RK, we finally went to Toro and had "Maiz Asado Con Alioli Y Queso Cotija la especialidad de la casa," alright will cut the crap, corn in butter and cheese was freaking awesome."
Meaning - Saavu da RK, we went to Toro and ate a dish (made of corn in butter and cheese) which was semma tasty.
PS: I'm assuming this is the meaning, as, possibly, the speaker and RK were supposed to go to the said restaurant together, but somehow, the speaker beat RK to it; or some similar equivalent situation.

I confess to having used "freaking awesome" once or twice in my life, but the rest of the stuff, I generally have to read once or twice to understand the words fully, sometimes even Google their meaning/usage. And please, I'm not this English-ignorant-for-the-sake-of-GRE-mug-Baron's or Rapidex-Learn-English-in-20-days aasaaami also. Simply by looking at my blog, my English marks in CBSE school [oh, how naive can you get, Kaushik?] and the fact that I was one of my English teacher's fav students (mainly for academic reasons, but the fact that I also admired Madhubala, the original Bollywood beauty, also helped) in high school (albeit Matric). Plus also the fact that in my blog, almost 99% of my writings are grammatically correct, which is no mean feat, considering I've been blogging for almost 2 years now (albeit, with no significant blog-following :D). Basically, what I want to say is - I know some English, sariya? But I don't know too much English, nowhere near even a quasi-pulavan, like what some of my lesser-inclined-to-English friends complain, about being unable to comprehend my blogs. From what I know and hear from them, the subject content of my blog becomes clearer on 2^nd or 3^rd reading (though I doubt if there's anyone with that much patience :P), sometimes conveying a different message each time. I'm also sure my writings convey a different meaning to people who know me (rather, are acquainted with me for a period of time) and another one to first-time readers or people who aren't acquainted much with me. But the important thing here is that none of this is due to the language, this is (only, if I may add...) due to the content and how I've presented it, as also the topic itself. My blogs would hardly have 2-3 GRE words.
.
But these Mary's and Peter's, their vocabulary is predominantly made up of such GRE words, often reaching above the GRE level also. :D And let me also add, I am sure I will definitely fall into one (or more) of the above categories of "intellectuals", but I surely surely don't belong to this one.

• Kannaadi/Ara-nikkar, etc. – Ok, this is surely not applicable to all “intellectuals” (though it might, I am not sure) and this will highly coincide with the chilrai-pisth-cases whose sole aim in life is to earn money and show the world that, in different forms. Karuppu Kannadi (‘Shades’, they are called) enge ponaalum pottukkanum. Idhula enna koduma’na, Madras’la (referring to MCSI’s mainly from Chennai and also hot places from South India), US’la irukkardhoda 10-madangu jaasthi veyyil, for most of the year, aana US’ukku vandhu dhan “shades”. Note specifically that these people generally don't flaunt wealth back home in India, like the "other" group, which indulges in extra-show on that once-in-two-years India trip.
  Also, going out with friends to the movie or any casual hang-out will invariably have to be in mukka-pant or ara-nikkar (provided the weather is conducive). Really. And this applies to both Mary and Peter. Period.

Update 1:

• "Naan kadaisiya paatha English padam 'Sunset Boulevard'" & VS Naipaul kinds - This is a sure-fire way. Confirmed'unga. They swear by Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino is God. Problem is, only he is god (IMHO, he is also God, one among the trinity, but there are others, and there are Indians). Vishal Bhardwaj is just a cheap imitation. Indian movies suck. Period. Mani Ratnam was a good director. Indian cinema died after Nayagan. Variations include moving on to other international-language movies - French, Polish, Italian, etc. and revisiting all English classics from the '40s and '50s.
  As far as readership is concerned, abstract philosophy is the in-thing. Richard Dawkins is widely-read.
• The "NeenGa rOmbo nallavanga" types - Oh yes, another easy one. Since they are fitness conscious and are invariably good runners, they usually associate themselves with some charity fund like Asha and run to raise money. Then forward emails asking us to contribute. Incidentally, this led me to post this. :D
• Forward-phobia - They are utmost forward-thinkers, but hate to forward and hate forwards. The rare forward that they do send will be screaming with "intellectualism". Easily you will be able to recognize it. And that is to show to us that - "Hey dho paaru, naan summa summa indha maadhiri sirippu mootradhukkum, podhu ariva valakkarthukkum forwards'laam anuppara type illa. Naan anupcha adhu unique'a irukkum (just like me)." You must assume you hear the sender say this when you get that once-in-a-blue-moon "intellectual" forward from someone. And foremost among the rare gems they send will include one from the previous category. If not for them, for their "intellectual" friend (obviously!).
  

Go to Part 3

Stereotyping the Contemporary Intellectual - 1

For far too long, we have had stereotypes based only on caste, religion and gender. Though there are substantial reasons (at least) for some of those, we have found more reason to ridicule (rather unfairly) based on the stereotypes, without bothering to verify their accuracy (either way). One exception, though, is the stereotype of pseudo-secularists, which can be completely and wholly justified. So much so that sometimes, the stereotype of pseudo-secularists threatened to be their definitive characteristic, when along came someone to prevent that. Anyhow...

This post is definitely NOT meant to ridicule or offend the "intellectual" of today. Probably a satire, well...more a humorous observation by yours truly of some aspects which have been strikingly obvious...in "intellectuals", to me (of course). So whoever reads this, please take it with a pinch of salt (as with most of my other posts :D) and a generous dose of light-heartedness.

Since I am a middle-class South-Indian (MCSI), my observations predominantly pertain to middle-class South-Indian "intellectuals".However, a lot of these characteristics might as well be applicable to "intellectuals" from North India too.

Note: Henceforth, I will be referring to contemporary intellectuals as "intellectuals". ;-)
All set? Then let's go . . .

• No longer middle class - The first thing that should strike you about them is that they are no longer middle class. Having been brought up in an essentially savings-based environment, where we used to think about each and every item before buying, that thought process no longer exists. Yes of course, they do opt for their Honda Civics and Mazda 3's compared to more expensive versions, but their concept of savings gets reduced to big expenses alone (unintentional irony). $1.99 milk ceases to hold relevance once they graduate and get a decent-paying job. Dollars, after all, start speaking, not Rupees. When you go for the $2.99 milk, you are paying just 1 dollar more, but that's a difference of 2 dollars effectively (saving one + losing one). What they lose sight of is the fact that saving the cents might not save much, but losing the savings will count.

• Rejection of Religion: This, I have especially noticed in MCSI Brahmins. Well, probably educated Indians are moving towards atheism en masse, but nowhere can you observe this trait more prominently than in MCSI Brahmins in the USA. Accepted that there is more exposure to free thinking today, and more of us see more of what the world has and is made of, coming out of our closet. But that should encourage us to think inward, the more outward we go. Alas, our enlightenment is just outward. "Integral humanism" and "agnosticism" are other supplementary adjectives to describe their current mental set-up.

• Photography Pultography: Yes, a must-have characteristic. Either they own an SLR camera or they talk about shooting brilliant pictures with varying angles of light, etc. Whether they really do take good pictures is a discussion best left for another time.

• Lingo: I think a separate Urban Dictionary can be created for the words used by Intellectuals. Prominent among these words are - Dude, Junta, F***, No kiddin, Preeshiyet it, Honey, More F***, etc.

• Kambeni: They generally surround themselves with studs from top schools. Agreed that most of the "intellectuals" are, themselves, from top schools, but in case they don't happen to be from one, they immediately catch hold of some who are and jab all mostly hi-funda stuff which generally falls under any one of the categories mentioned here.
  

Go to Part 2

If I were you...

Another nagging-for-some-time-now issue at the back of my mind is this usage of "If I were you, I'd do/not do this/that" for a simple suggestion/advice you ask someone. I started noticing this only with some American colleagues but then realized most of us Indians here have adopted that too.
-
Why can't people just say do this or do that if we ask them something. I mean, if you are so wary about being blamed for directly telling the asker to do something he/she might later blame you for, you have a perfectly valid reason for saying whatever you said, because it was the asker who asked you what he/she should do, which is why you told him/her whatever you did.
-
It is quite possible that I am being this ultra-sensitive, touchy kind of character but, frankly, when someone tells me - "If I were you, I'd buy this", it gives me this slippery kind of feeling - as if the person is trying to be a diplomatic smart-ass and trying to nazhuvify from what they said. Ok, I have no right to complain or grumble when an American speaks to me this way - it's how he (since there is no she) has been speaking all his life. If I were to complain about this, then I would start complaining about his accent, etc. Not happening. Not fair, since I don't know if our way is the correct way to say it. But when fellow Indians, that too, really close friends from home speak to me in the same way, I am forced to resort to blogging. [:D]
-
Please don't blame me for being this nitpicky maamiyaarish eternally-kutham-kandupudichufying character. Yes, I do find it irritating when Desis here use "Sounds good" for any (absolutely ANY) kind of plan/idea/agreement, etc. if it's ok or "I'm not sure if that's going to work out" for anything not ok, "Preeshiyate it" for any help done (Who is Preeshi? What did she eat?). Yes, I understand it's a decent polite way of saying yes/no but to me, this decency seems artificial, that too, within friends. But then, I'm not blogging about that, am I? [;)]
-

• First of all, the statement is logically flawed. Whenever someone says "If I were you..." the remainder of the statement ceases to hold any significance. Why - because you are not me, you just are NOT me. Then why in the world would either you or me be bothered about what you would be doing if you were me?
• CBM - A straightforward statement like "Machi, do this da" or "I think this would be a better option for you" sounds so much more reassuring than an "I would if I were you" statement. I agree that the part "If I were you" gives us the impression that the other person was trying to put himself in our shoes, but when we realize next second that the other person is not us, it sounds much less confident. I understand that "If I were you" is synonymous with "If I were in your situation", which is more realistic, nevertheless, it still is not as confidence-building as "This is the better option."
• More logical flaw - Ok, you are not me. But, even if we could somehow imagine you being me, how and when can you define that you are actually me? Do circumstances (the oft-quoted sandarbha-soozhnelaigal from Tamil Cinema) define a person or is it his opinions or is it his appearance? Or is it his name?

Consider the following conversation -

Tring Tring Tring Tring...

Obama - Hello Yaar Pesardhu?
Osama - Nee dhaan da pesare.
Obama - Ada...'S'aanavane...Wassup dude?
Osama - (Smirking) I see old habits die hard...oru 'B'ya vechu enna aattam aattare?
Obama - Don't say that. You are trying to suppress and oppress and
depress the view of the American.
Osama - Hayyo Hayyo. Anyways, I've been hiding for some time now.
Bored. Want to come out with a bang. Any idea where I can start?
Obama - Dude, we're already screwed. If I were you, I'd go for China.
Osama - Hey B, good one. There's something brewing in Uighur too. Let
me check that out. Sounds good. Preeshiyet it.
Obama - Chao then. Take care buddy. Catch you later.

You see? Obama isn't Osama and even if he was Osama, he needn't necessarily do what Osama would want to do, nor what is good for Osama.
That's what I'm trying to say. Catch my point?
--
PS: Sorry Anand, you started it. [:D]

Alone against all odds...

I remember reading a quite inspiring story called "Alone against the flames" by a woman called Tracy Aubin. It was one of the "lessons" we had as part of the English subject, I guess either in 11th std or 9-10th. The story was about how a woman met with an accident on a hot afternoon in a deserted location somewhere in Australia, and I think she had a few kids, and how the car caught fire, and she was in unimaginable pain and she managed to get her kids out in time as the car burst into flames, and how she managed to hang on to dear life for a few hours, in desperate pain, until someone just came by.
With all due respect to the courageous lady, her story was an inspiration.

This article is about the courage and determination of one man...how he faced a do-or-die situation to save his face and himself...how he faced ignominy and overcame it...how he eventually battled all odds to emerge successfully.
Yes This story is about me and my first corporate party experience...alone.
It all began when my company sent out an invite to the annual company party. Having no prior corporate party experience yet, knowing the associated "procedures", my initial excitement was soon replaced by anxiety. "What would I wear" was one of the questions that popped up in my head, but since I'm not exactly horrendous with my dressing (despite my utter lack of fashion-consciousness), the dressing-associated trepidation subsided. Then, the real thing. It is more or less a practice here for people to attend parties (in general...corporate parties, in particular) with their spouse, boy/girl-friend, a date or at least, a person from the other sex. Since the first three cases are (obviously absolutely) not applicable to me, the only case even remotely applicable (if any) to me happened to be the fourth one. I further understood that to take a girl to a party, neither do you need to have any remotely romantic affiliations to her, nor do you need to be someone well acquainted with her. Let's just say it's enough if you don't feel uncomfortable in her company. (PS: This isn't a bad way to start off, in case you are contemplating "attempting" anything with the girl.) Or if you're the really gregarious free-moving or kadalai type, you just don't need to know the girl at all. But since I think twice before even saying Hi to a girl I know (but don't know well), I basically had to consider girls whom I knew even somewhat decently and did not feel uncomfortable with. But since the girls I know well, am good friends with and talk to quite frequently all happen to be old college classmates from MSEC, none of whom is nearby, I (sadly) could not consider them. The only other old-acquaintance not-uncomfortable candidate was one of my juniors who had come here recently for her Masters, but since I presumed she would not be familiar with the harmlessness of this exercise as also the fact that since she wasn't as close to me as my classmate-girls and since she happens to be another middle-class Brahmin girl from "our background" and since I've had some not-so-good-experiences with her circle, despite the girl being a definitely decent & nice type, besides being a good sport, I didn't want to risk anything. Now, in case you didn't know, my female contacts here in Chicago are zilch, well, almost. There is absolutely one girl I respect at IIT and since she is semma innocent and paavam type (also attested by my
roomie Dhesikan), and since I would definitely feel uncomfortable going with her, despite her good nature, I had to rule her out. The final candidate was this not-very-goody type of girl here (my roomie's occasional part-time daavu, but his strong recommendation too) with whom I have spoken occasionally. She isn't bad looking either, and I have known quite a few guys to have expressed admiring interest in her. Unfortunately, I didn't think it would be fair on my part to ask her since I haven't exactly been appreciative of her, mostly, (I abhor hypocrisy) as also this concept of introducing her to my colleagues. "Hey Whitney, this is my friend, *****." - wasn't a very encouraging prospect. My roomie, though, commented that more than one person would have been appreciative of my "catch", had I taken her. Quite possibly, but this never happened, and it probably was never meant to happen, and I'm thankful it didn't. :P Now there I was.
An interesting aspect here is this process of consideration. My besht friend (1.2) Tejaswi said he was very happy and surprised at my thought process. He apparently thought I being me wouldn't even embark upon such considerations, the conservative fellow that I "was"(:D). I actually feel it hasn't got much (if any) to do with any conservative mind-set, even considering a guy like me. For one, however averse I am to the idea of dating or "going out" with a girl I'm not serious about, this was neither a date nor a "seeing-her" type of thing, if I had taken some girl, that is. This was just a professional assignment and even if I had been able to zero in on a suitable "candidate", I don't think I would have done something which I wouldn't have, before...nor do I think this is an indication of some new-found openness in me. It was pure logic and the situation demanded a "logical" approach [k1 ;)], which, I
think I did. My besht friend (1.1) Kesh nods his head.After an intense round of considerations, I was back at square one, probably a couple of squares behind. Faced with the prospective ignominy of having to go alone, I started considering less advisable, nevertheless face-saving options like going with a guy. The options were more, in this case, but for some reason, I ended up asking Aswin (another roomie) who refused point blank, citing the normal reason most guys would state - that he thought it wouldn't be nice for a guy to accompany another - which, I felt, was a myth. Nevertheless, I wasn't keen on forcing anybody and since it was quite late, I didn't ask anyone else. On the last day of work before the D-Day, I asked my manager how pathetic my situation was, and if I could take a guy with me. He was quite cool about it and said I could bring along anybody I wanted. When I asked him about the opposite-sex thingy, he said it was a general habit here to bring someone from the opposite sex, but by no means was it a rule or a norm. Plus, he added something that was absolutely totally unthinkable to me-he said it would be fine even if I came alone.
It is often a tiny spark of inspiration and help that has often led to the most memorable of triumphs and victories for mankind.
I don't know if my boss' suggestion of going alone also being a possibility was that tiny spark of light which acted as a guiding light to me in my solo battle, but I know I will definitely look back to his words years from now, when I recount to Keshav's grand-kids (since it is the only sure event...Tejaswi's marriage seems a partly sure event with equal probability for both sub-events, though declining towards the negative...and mine seems almost a sure event...on the other side [=(]) fondly of this memorable battle of mine, 40 years from now. Emboldened, re-energized and ready-to-face-the-battle, I prepared to enter the arena on the historic August 16, 2008 (yes, a day after our Independence Day, my day of glory arrived).
"They are great souls who have well and truly conquered the demons of self-doubt" - this was sooo true in my case! A couple of minutes before actually entering the event, I just had to speak to Tejas - out of despair or anxiety or helplessness, I dont know. Still, Tejaswi, being my ever-faithful Surya, instilled further belief in me and gave me that last-minute push (which only a true friend can) along with self-confidence that I could do it. Thanks Teja! On I went. I was dressed in Black and Black, which I was told, was an official party dress. My company founder (An ultimate stud guy, both in looks and smartness and brain...no wonder...just 39 years old and a 11-year old company founded by him and billions) was at the entrance to welcome me. Anxiously, I shook hands with him, alone. The first few moments were actually pretty awkward. Like Dravid having to face a barrage of bouncers from Shoaib Akhtar. The next were quite unnerving. Like Dravid having to face McGrath in his second over. And then I grew in confidence. Grabbing a glass of cranberry juice, I was looking around for some decent company when I met my fellow new-hire, Ray and his wife. We started chatting up pretty casually, and as time passed, I was more assured. Yes, most of the people who came there were opposite-sex pairs, but still, for some reason, I was feeling better. Gradually, though, I did see people walk in with their friend, a model-like colleague of mine came with her mom (Mom, I assume). Still, most of my new-hire colleagues had managed to find someone to come with, from the opposite sex, even if they were single. But by now, I was ready to take on the world. Like Dravid feels when he has driven Brett Lee straight back past him with the straightest of bats, for a stunningly exquisite boundary, and completes the follow through and holds the bat in position for the cameras. The evening progressed, and I spoke to quite a few of my colleagues, and ate some fruits, apart from drinking more cranberry juice and another less innocent juice. The band played, I felt on top of the world. Interestingly, my desi colleague, Chaitra, had come with her husband, and she knew of my plight. But to my total surprise, her husband told me that they were discussing earlier in the day about getting me someone to accompany me (one of Chaitra's friends), but, they too had to cross out all the candidates and finally thought I was better off alone. (Sucks actually, how much ever I try not to be obvious and easy to understand, I just end up being this shockingly open and easy-to-read book). Kudos to them, though :D!
But yeah, there I was, at the end of the party, victorious, gallant and successful. Success is sweet, let me tell you.
And to all ye single guys out there (Girls...I will not address because I dont exactly know the plight of a "single" girl), never lose hope. You may have lost the battle, but you would have won the war.
My first ever corporate party experience. What a bummer, don't you think?
;-)

And yet, it moves on

With not even a complete year having passed since my arrival here, at Chicago, I got to experience my first bit of nostalgia a few days back. The occasion – my room-mate, Amit’s leaving our apartment and moving to the suburbs since he had got a co-op. Well, skeptics might be tempted to term it over-reaction or unnecessary emotion, but there is a certain bonding you develop with your room-mates over a period of time, however alike or unlike you might be. In fact, the more unlike, the more you get to know each other, and try to suit yourself with his or her way of life. Possibly, this is what happens when Darwin studies Biology’s fellow science. Some sort of chemistry evolves over a period of time, between room-mates, and kindles the occasional nostalgic emotion in you, which is what prompted me to write this piece, a welcome respite after having gone through a phase which every writer dreads – Writer’s Block. Basically, I was under this misconception that emotions run low here, and professionalism takes over every aspect of life once one arrives in the US of A. Well, I was both wrong and right, though in parts. Notwithstanding the fact that the degree of professionalism exhibited here is impressive, and pervades all aspects of life, emotions do exist, albeit not to the minimal extent that I made out. Whether it is the land or the atmosphere or just a weird rearrangement of the chromosomes, one should definitely accept the fact that one’s EQ (Emotional Quotient) undergoes a transformation here (for the better or the worse, it is up to the individual!). It is a bit similar to the feel that Ayn Rand gives, of the land of America, though not to the same extent. The notion of all of man’s visions and dreams taking shape in reality does indeed confront you here, but there is a rather uncomfortable tinge of materialism to it, add to this, some professionalism, and the humaneness in us seems to take a back seat. Of course, I might be wrong, but this is what I made out here. Which is why the feeling of nostalgia and missing when my room-mate left seemed a bit strange to me. But still, we’re humans, aren’t we?