Papa Kehte Hain...

I had initially titled this post "Appa Sonna Pechu", but since Papa Kehte Hain happens to be a popular song (besides being a not-so-popular movie), I decided to have it as the title (though the grammatically correct version would have been "Jo Papa ne Kaha" or "Papa Kehte The") for obvious reasons of increasing viewer count and curiosity (by a stretch of conceivable imagination).
Ok, so this is not going to be a touchy recollection of how we forget our dads and remember their thoughts and words on Father's Day or their birthdays or when they die (ala Vaaranam Aayiram). I forgot when Father's Day is, my dad's birthday is on Jan 31 and he is very much alive (and kicking ;-). It's been almost 5 months since I started working and let me tell you - software development for financial firms IS demanding. Probably not especially demanding, since I have no idea of how hectic coding in proper normal software companies is, probably it is in fact. But that's the impression I got here, especially since there's millions of bucks on the line of the software that we write here (currently, I'm nowhere near the line of fire). Still, take nothing away from my performance. (In general) Popular opinion exists that I am a relatively bright fellow who will find his way in more-or-less most places in the world. Ok. But I've been lazy enough for most part of the 4 years of my BE to not spend enough time with code. I believe one of the essential aspects of good coding is that you sit with code - even for highly intelligent souls (I am categorizing myself as moderately intelligent, out of modesty or truthfulness or both, I don't know). As far as my Master's was concerned, I fell in love with Theory here (I was infatuated in India) and fell all out for Cryptography and Network Security-centric Game Theory, Theory of Computation, etc. Somehow, I focussed and was interested in CS-theoretical subjects rather than project-based ones. So not much compulsion to sit with lots of code.
Or this whole issue might not have got anything to do with code at all.
Which is where appa comes in. I am not crudely implying that I have become dumb wrt intelligence. I am not sure I have become less sharp (which is a possibility though). So when I get screwed royally at work, I just have to attribute it to lack of coding skills. I mean it when I say I get royally screwed - some of the coding issues, I feel so damn dumb. Somewhat retarded too. I don't know if it's my colleagues who end up making me feel like that, but I really stutter and feel awkward a lot of times...have been, at least. Which, in a queer sense, somehow rewound the clock to some time around 2000-2005, when I had a partially tempestuous time with my dad, mainly due to academic reasons. Well, there was not much of an issue otherwise, but since the 10th-12th std school-phase of a normal middle-class guy is so crucially important, there is not much to life than academics, during this phase. And since my dad very much believed in my brightness, my regularly appalling and horrendous academic performances left him in utter distaste over me. Again, this might or might not be directly related to what I am going to say, but my thought-process included this bit of past, hence I trust my mind to think something relevant (not sure again :D). So yes, given this not-so-happy stuff between me & my dad besides my bright nature, plus the major fact that I was/am horribly impatient in expecting people to understand things, there were a lot of times when I thought my dad was dumb. I really felt that it was the most obvious thing in the world and my dad didn't grasp it first-hand. (Note here that though my "bright" nature failed my academic pursuits brilliantly, it did, somehow, maintain the light in general issues of life...and to a very faint extent, the thought that "intelligence leads to impatience/arrogance" was true in my case, though to a much lesser extent of intelligence, mediocre amount of arrogance and overwhelming dose of impatience). This actually started to happen quite regularly, especially during my 12th standard (when my academic non-performance was at its peak). I literally used to wonder how my dad could fail to understand what I was saying when it was oh-so-obvious. Then, like all dads, he used to say - "You also one time coming, that time you realizing, now you not understanding," obviously in much better grammar. Though I was not stupid enough to think that I was immune from going through that phase, I hoped and prayed I wouldn't have to go through that. But it seems I am precisely undergoing that kind of treatment here. Now, though, another line of thought has cropped up - that I am OB-adichufying at work [:(]. Which is, again, not entirely true, because I am beginning to like I am doing, and I am really REALLY learning a lot. But I am slow, I am taking time, that probably pisses my manager/mentor(s) off, so sometimes not much work, so browse -> more irritation. Still, my feeling of dumbness was/is true. Of course, I don't blame my manager/mentor(s). In a sense, I am hoping that feeling kind of spurs me on to learn more.
But yes, it did rewind the clock by a few years. I still hear my dad. Again, I don't say what he said has exactly happened, but the symptoms are remarkably similar. Which prompts me to quip - "Paatti sonna pechai thattadhe, Appa sonna pechai marakkadhe."
:D Some thought, eh?

PS: By the way, for two specific souls, I just noticed that my blog contains exactly 2 posts each on Cricket and Politics - one of those on cricket was more out of a national controversy (Bhajji slapping Sreesanth) than something regular - this, out of 30 posts totally. Quite funny actually, considering that the politics blog compared to mine contained 7/11 posts on politics and the cricket blog contained 12/27 posts on cricket. Chippu vandhudhu Chippu.
Oh and btw, this post isn't politics or cricket, right? ;)

'Supporting' the Wall...

I am on a high now. No marijuana, no coke. A comprehensive series win against Australia, a wonderful performance by Team India, yes...but both those got me on level ground from a lower ground. The high was a result of a man not much known for 'grace' outside of the off-side of a cricketing pitch, bowing out in style, graciously. I cannot remember too many other recent instances of a cricketer signing off in style, on a high (notwithstanding a Bradmanesque final innings duck) the way Dada did (yes there were a few). Sourav Chandidas Ganguly gave us yet another surprise thus. Not that we ever doubted his talent or ability. Still, the way he retired probably surprised him too, albeit in a pleasant way. Of all that has been said about him, I suddenly felt this about him one fine day - Sourav Ganguly is a monk. Yes, if a monk is a person who has achieved conditioning of the mind and body. Let me unabashedly declare that I have been a fan of him for quite some time now, and I did not like him for the perceived negative characteristics that he possesses. Yes, there are some negatives about him, but the man was much more than those. People (like this one) who like him for his negativities are misguided. I loved his beautiful batting and relegated him to the top of my list of favourite cricketers not very long after he became captain. But even a die-hard fan like me did not think much about what would happen after he was dropped. I felt a sickening crunch, and was at a loss for words. But the emphatic manner of his comeback totally beat me. Here was a man well past his prime who, by sheer will of his mind, forced himself into the team purely on performance. It was quite shocking, what the mind can do. This guy is a monk. For sheer command over his mind.
How I felt when he played his final test, when he looked up to the skies on the pitch one last time after getting out for a duck, these are feelings too personal for me to reveal outside and publicise. Emotion, sorrow, happiness. Period.
But I feel for another man. And I want to make it known. And I want everyone to feel for him. Rahul Dravid has done more for this country than most of us can dream of. He is the epitome of industriousness and hard work. He is not a Sachin Tendulkar with natural brilliance. He is not a Brian Lara with born flair. Yes, cricket is in his blood, and he is one of the most beautiful batsmen ever. But Rahul Dravid is one of the all-time greats of the game simply because of his application. He is not very expressive, but his grit and effort show in his eyes when he plays for the country. He has performed when the chips are down and he has performed when the chips are up. He is more than just a crisis-man. He contributes as an individual, he is an able ally (as can be wonderfully shown by the 318-run partnership with Sourav Ganguly and 331-run partnership with Sachin Tendulkar in ODI's, and two unforgettable knocks with Laxman in Eden Gardens and Adelaide AND the fact that he shares the most number of 100-run partnerships), he is the ideal team-man, he is everything you would want from a sportsman, and everything you would want from a warrior. He respects and loves Indian cricket more than most of us. He wants to contribute to the team more than what we know is possible. And yet, even the greatest of warriors sometimes comes up against a wall he cannot scale. This man has been a wall to cricketing opponents, now he is up against another himself. He will scale it. But give him time. Don't prey for his blood. As Sachin said and Dada rightly agreed - Respect the seniors. In a way, each of the Big 5 commands as much respect as any great person in our country. Don't trivialize them by pitting one against another. Don't insult them by reminding them that their time has come. They know. They are more concerned about the future of Indian cricket than us. Simply because they have been that past which is "history". They are the present. In a way, Rahul moves me to tears like nobody else. I almost shed tears for Jumbo. I cried within for Dada, but overcame outright tears because of the manner in which he left. I cannot imagine what will happen when Sachin leaves. I will miss Laxman. But Rahul moves me beyond any of them. This despite me being a Ganguly fan. Coming to think of it, I have never called myself a Dravid-fan. But it seems I admire him and adore him as much as I do Ganguly, albeit in a different light. And I cannot bear to see what is happening to Rahul. I know he will be back. I want him to be back.
No, Please dont read this as an obituary. Respect the man. Feel for him. Pray for him. No, don't do the last two. He wouldn't like it. He is not the Terminator to "be back". He has always been here. He will always be. No excuses for a bad performance, but this isn't his time. It just isn't.
Rahul, whatever anyone criticizes you for, know you are the best and the greatest. These two series are not going to make a difference to someone who truly respects an individual's commitment and contribution. Please don't feel bad. We cannot stand it. You don't deserve to feel bad. After all, you have been an impregnable wall for India. Yes, a few bricks might be falling off. But you are a monument, and will continue to be one.

Midnight Madness

Four months since I've been working now, waking up each day at about 5.30 AM. Add to it another 3 months of 3-days-a-week-Internship at Siemens from Feb-May when I used to wake up at 5. Today's comedy/farce/joke hasn't happened once, not ONCE. My phone has been behaving strangely of late, and the anxiety of the phone-alarm ringing or not probably played on my mind. I woke up as usual, looking at the minutes digits of my phone, and (barely) glancing at the hours timer, and convinced it was something like 5.35-38, I proceeded to wake up fully, fold my bed, brush my teeth, make coffee and switch on my lap-top for the morning prayers+mail-checking. Even after having done my coffee, I glanced at the time in the lap-top, and cursing myself that it was a bit late (once again, I looked at the .56 part, assumed it was 5.56, and cursed myself since normal coffee-time is like 5.46'ish), hurried on with the coffee. While drinking coffee, I noticed that the time was strange in my lap top. My lapt-top's battery had actually conked out a few months back, and rather remarkably, after returning from India, it started functioning, although giving powerless life for about 10 minutes or so, hence the time in the lap-top has been proper for a while now, though it was wrong before. Since it showed 12.58 or 1.01, I thought it had conked out again. Just to verify that it had conked out (I was still fairly confident the time was morning), I checked out my cell phone and saw that it too showed the same time. Now I sort of got a little worked up since my cell phone has also been behaving strangely. So I wondered how else I could check the time. I returned to my lap top and typed out time.com to check the time (Brilliance, right?) and it took me to TIME magazine's website. In that early morning sleep, I was making a fool of myself. I then went to check the time in my room-mates' cell phones, but since I got hold of none of their phones, I returned to my lappie with a little bit clearer mind. This time, I got time.gov properly and it showed me the same damn time! Now I was clearly panicking and started thinking weird stuff like someone cursing all the watches/sources of time surrounding me to show the wrong time. I wandered around for some more time, saw how the outside world was and thought like a dumber for some more time. Finally, convinced there could be no other option, I finished my coffee and went back to sleep, a total joker. Though I was quite amused with myself, I couldn't quite believe what had happened. The worst deception was because I was feeling surprisingly awake when I woke up, this despite the fact that I had slept barely an hour prior to waking up.

Am I losing it more and more? I wonder.

My two anna's on Obama's Triumph

(Bandha) See here.

Points to Ponder - Jai Singh Rathore

After my 10th or 11th viewing of Jaane Tu...Ya Jaane Na, I just couldn't help but dedicate a few words to that supremely affable and cute character played by Imraan Khan in his debut role - Jai Singh Rathore. Apart from his bloody brilliant looks (seriously, despite being a proper guy, even I was quite smitten by Imraan's absolutely chocolatey-boy looks. After a long time, we have a genuinely good-looking chocolate-boy hero who can act, well, at least Imraan did a wonderful job in Jaane Tu. The last time we had something similar happening was this. But anyways, chocolate heroes aren't my focus. Jai Singh Rathore - that ever-so-polite "Ranjore-ka-Rathore" with such a sweet and delightful non-violent character whose instincts get provoked into action on an attack on his mom or his love/girlfriend. Amit (Aditi's brother in the movie) brilliantly described it when he said - "Jai Singh Rathore, har waqt itna sweet, itna polite? Tum apne aap se bore nahin hote ho?" Probably because the contrast is so stark, I was driven to think of myself, looking at Jai's character.

(It's an entirely different issue that struck me on different lines - why we always try to see ourselves as the protagonists. In this movie especially, barring Sushant Modi [Aditi's fiance] and to a much lesser extent, Mala [Jiggy's girlfriend, the airhostess to whom the story is narrated], all the characters were very very endearing. Personally, Jai and I are as different as thakkaali thokku and keera koottu, still, I, like most others I am sure, tried to relate myself to Jai, though each of the other characters is as good as him. Self importance does irritate me sometimes [:(].

Note: But this is not the reason why I was compelled to think of myself on looking at Jai.)

I Will not comment much on the "endearing" part - there definitely is a minority to which (I think) I am that (endearing), but to an overwhelming majority, I probably am somewhere between avoidable and nothing special (for various reasons). Nevertheless, one of the most earth-shattering differences was in how patient, calm and collected Jai was compared to the "ticking time bomb waiting to explode"+"rabid dog" that my best friend 1.1 described me to be. Well, he probably wasn't entirely right, but there are easily-mentionable instances when I have been exactly what he said. I was going to write a blog post a few months back titled - "Depression Waxing, Tolerance Waning" or something on those lines, primarily describing how increasingly irritated I am becoming here, in Chicago, being away from home and familiar faces/territory, despite it being a good 2+ years since I came here. Even if this homesickness and pointlessness is the reason for all my "intolerance" and easily ignitable temper, it's still a weak justification for being rude to and snapping at people. I mean there are people who deserve rudeness and scorn, but what's the point? Jokes apart, I find it more irritating to remain dumbly non-reactive and quiet as opposed to saying what you feel, assuming of course that it is "absolutely" right. My problem was/is that sometimes, I felt the wrong thing (misplaced anger?) and more so, conveying what you feel must also be done to the right people, well, at least, not-the-wrong-ones.

Still, Jai is supremely gifted. He wasn't dumb, he wasn't a jada-prabhu. Among my friends, there are some who come close to possessing many of the attributes like patience/politeness/calmness/non-anger that Jai possesses. Keshav, would be the foremost, but no - though he is affable and easily liked owing to (apart from his drop-dead-gorgeous-looks) his calm demeanour and oh-so-polite nature, he is exceptionally slothy. There can never be an energy about him or a spring in his step - he can either amble along or walk. If he is enthu about something, and tries to have a spring in his step, he ends up doing something which becomes a cross between bouncing and bobbing (awkwardly). But the main difference between him and Jai is that Keshav is more brotherly than boyfriendily. Jai was caring and concerned, still, he was also boyfriendily. No harm in being anna, but if you become "engal anna" for everyone, then how will you become "yennaa..." for someone? Talking about which, another person who is closer to Jai than Keshav is Anand - my classmate from DAV and one of my really really good friends. Though I never realized it in school, he seems to have been this typical Jai'ish character, though there were no suitable Aditi's around (Loo isn't Kaali Billi :D), nor was there a very wonderful circle of boy-girl friends. My mom probably was one of the first to enlighten me in this regard (that too, thanks to akka, courtesy loo, I guess), and after that, I have really realized that side of him. Quite definitely good looking (maybe not in the league of Jai, still belonging to the top league of good-looking guys) Very non-committal without being aloof, caring & concerned without being loud & imposing (aka me), gentle, calm, etcetera.

Typical Example: Another of those intense conversations between (main group) me, Karthik, Keshav, Tejaswi, (sub-group) Suresh and Anand about kalaachaara azhivu, hypocrisy, pseudo-religionists, pseudo-Brahmins, blah blah -

On Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 3:18 PM, cowmaaa wrote:

http://thisdaythisage.blogspot.com/2008/09/revealation.html#links

This hawkeye guy (***'s cousin) is seriously getting onto my nerves. Tejaswi, see the comments and tell me how else hypocrisy would be defined?

On Thu 9/11/2008 4:42 PM, Anand Balakrishnan wrote:

yevan yepdi irindha yenna da...

Though I was rotfl when Tejaswi said - "Ivan enna da Dr.Rajashekar padam range'lareact panraan - Evana irundha enakkena, andha maadhiri irukku!", Anand's penchant for avoiding unnecessary perturbation/controversy was evident, in his own cute way (I am told girls luvv this :P). Recently, our man has had a totally unexpected fan on his blog asking him when he is going to post next, based on 1-2 blog posts [:D]. Adhaan Anand.

There's another DAV-best-buddy - Suresh, who is more or less similarly likable (especially to gals) without being this eternally calm smile-on-the-face guy, he does be animated many times, still is more than quite compatible and his-company-is-enjoyable-to-a-lot-of-people character. Coming to think of it, Suresh is as fair as Jai, and definitely comparably good-looking.

Which brings me back to the villain of this whole post - yours truly (No, I am seriously not seeking public sympathy {though I could do with some ;)}, just trying to critique myself objectively and honestly). Sometimes, I feel foolish because I have an opinion on a lot of things in life. Most often, I take things seriously, and just cannot bear to see them happen. That doesn't mean to say that I am a very good samaritan or a wonderful human being (I might be one, I don't know :P). But it sort of becomes a problem when the perturbation shows in me - it could either be my anger, sorrow, depression or simply feeling bad/upset about stuff, but I show it, and take things to heart - even stuff totally not personal to me, some Brahmin boy somewhere in the world might be eating cow dung's perpetrator or some Muslim guy might be marrying a Christian girl. Which is not Jai. Jai is a good guy, he does lots of things for his friends, like going to the hospital at 5 in the morning because his friend's cat died (No, unlike others, I think he would've done this for Rothlu, Shaleen, Bombs or Jiggy too, only with Aditi - it's personal, that's the difference). But he is cool and patient. I just am not. :(

Just yesterday, I had to sound off myself to this poor creature because she childishly did something brilliantly dumb like pasting a needless-yet-potentially-controversial YM chat in my scrapbook. Period.

Yes, that might be my "individuality" or whatever you call it. But, sometimes, it's better being something not-unpreferable (calm/cool/composed/patient/tolerant) to what you are sometimes better off not being (even if it gives you your identity and people like you for this not-so-preferable trait), if it is not going to have any substantially positive effect.

Bah, I just adore Jai Singh Rathore.

Open Question to anyone who watched Jaane Tu..: In that awesome scene when Jai walks into his house whistling and with a spring in his step which his "The-Beauty-Myth-by-Naomi-Wolf"-reading mom classically captures ("Jai Singh Rathore, honton pe seethi, chaal mein ujhal, maajra kya hai?"), to which Jai says he has a girl-friend, his mom then lists her correct observations about the romantic tangle in his group (Jai:Aditi + Rothlu->Aditi + Boms->Jai => Boms:Rothlu), Jai (with a cute wave of his hand :D) says in an exasperated tone, "Mom...good night". Does that mean Jai thinks what his mom says is wrong/absurd, or does he know what she says has a semblance of truth, but doesn't want to consider it?

Crazy Bugger!

I know I do get weird dreams, most of us do, but this was one of its kind.
As usual, around early morning. I guess around 5.00-5.20 AM, because when the alarm went off at 5.20, the dream was concluding. But it might be the temporal locality thing from Comp Arch.
This dream was basically a mini-documentary type movie. Obviously, there is this guy-girl love, say B1 and G1. G1’s parents don’t know of this ‘affair’ of hers. Then, something really crazy happens. The guy somehow manages to kill the girl (I’m pretty sure inadvertently). The modus operandi, I vaguely recollect, has something to do with a gentle hilly area, some trees and a slope. Then there’s this close friend of B1 – B2 (let’s say), who is like really close and knows what happened. Then there’s this court case and all that. The protagonist here is B2, because most of the movie/dream is from his point of view. He is asked to testify (In fact, I am B2, or at least, I feel I am B2 for now, because I felt the lie-detector test, but I will not refer to B2 as because of something later on). Now, some part of B2’s character was actually an offshoot of my actual nature, and though B2 wants to tell the truth, he is also driven by two major factors –

1. B1 killed the girl inadvertently and hence, doesn’t deserve the punishment.
2. G1’s parents don’t know of the affair, and B2 feels it should remain as it is.(There is also a blurry memory of B1 and G1 “mudichufying matter” because of which B2 wants to ensure that G1’s parents remain ignorant of their girl’s deeds so their last memories of her aren’t negative or depressing. Now, I’m not actually sure why this “matter panra” part came into – it seems like it has a genuine part in the theme, but it might as well be Tamil cinema effect. But I am surprised I, of all people, thought this :P).

So then, when testifying, I try very intently to tread on this thin path which lies between not saying the truth and not saying a lie. I actually don’t remember the technicalities, but over the investigation, I am also asked to take the lie-detector test as well (quite weird because I’m not the criminal, but I knew the truth, but I don’t think anybody knew that I was not saying the entire truth). So much so that I was actually trying to prepare for the Lie Detector Test! I even remember writing down both their names as part of the preparation (I just don’t remember the names! :(). So, some time during our court traversals, I (i.e. the dreamer me) was shocked to see one of my Department heads from my company (a slightly oldish vazhukka thalai who heads one of the main sub-divisions in our Technology group), KL being escorted somewhere. So later on, B1 is finally acquitted and while coming downstairs, the two of us (B1 and B2) see KL sitting behind a counter or something like that. It turns out that KL is a criminal behind bars and this is some sort of conversation window. There is a slight logistical issue here – while coming down the stairs, B1 and B2 see KL behind the counter, but KL can never see beyond the counter on his side. Once we are seated, i.e. B1 and KL are face-to-face but with an opaque barrier between them, but with the ability to communicate. Now it’s kind of nonsensical because I don’t think B1 and B2 or KL know any of each other. So, it was something like this Confession window (so to say). Since B1 was feeling quite guilty and wanted to totally vomit the truth to somebody (this, I guess, is again the conscience of the dreamer me since I want the truth totally out somewhere and I probably went into B1’s conscience), he starts telling the entire truth to KL, who proves to be a good listener. Then, some interruption occurs, and both B1 and B2 turn away for a few minutes to talk/see what the issue is with somebody. When we turn back and see, the barrier is gone and there sits KL with some wires connected and a mike to record. Turns out that he was a fusion between the jury/judge/detective and had somehow elicited the full confession of B1. :D
Now another crankiness – B1 is actually cornered and supposed to be apprehended, but the concluding part of the dream has B1 going back home in a car with his dad driving, who has come to know that B1 had actually been responsible for G1’s death. B1’s dad has some sort of cold fury within him, and questions B1 throughout the hilly car journey and suddenly, B1’s dad says something on the lines of “This is how G1 would have felt” and drives the car straight onto a hill-slope and the movie/dream dramatically concludes with this single frame I remember – B1 in the car, with the car upside down, hanging by/onto a tree and the screen goes blank.

PS:

1. I am not sure what happened to B1. I think B1 died, probably not, but I’m pretty sure B1’s dad lived, after (supposedly) teaching B1 a lesson. I also think B1’s mom was in the car, but she was a silent spectator during the entire conversation, and she too survived.

2. I have absolutely no aspirations as a film-maker/story writer, never had, and probably never will have. All I have been associated with movies, apart from watching them, are dancing (which is more personal and social gathering-type than cinema), stunts (I just love and have this crazy desire to do a lot of stunts from the movies), a once-or-twice desire to act in a Mani Ratnam movie once I returned to India immediately after finishing MS here (which was, incidentally, the starting point of my plan to try and make Trisha also fall in love with me and later on marry ---Joke/serious comedy---), more recent occasionally rare desires to act as a Villain and finally, based mainly on friends’ wishes about making a movie out of my life, especially the part from my 11th in DAV to end of MS (Back in DAV, the proposal was mooted by one girl, who named the movie ‘Paakka Paakka’ :D …. because Kaakha Kaakha was ‘happening’ then {Interestingly, Paaka Paaka was mooted by the girl as an attempt to ottify me and another girl, but Tejaswi, Keshav and others planned the same name to a movie which was supposed to be more a depiction of what happened those subsequent years in and after school}).

3. After waking up, I thought this –B2’s noble intentions notwithstanding, a postmortem test on G1’s body would have revealed that she had, indeed, “done matter” with B1. Not so logically, this didn’t seem to happen or exist as an option.

4. I have cautiously referred to having s*x by various references as “doing matter”, “matter panradhu”, etc.

5. I managed to realize a couple of inspirations which might have possible influenced the dream/movie or its contents.

• “The Partner” by John Grisham – I think the ending was more or less fashioned by this book’s ending. In a sense, quite anti-climactic.
• The story of the Indian girl’s murder in Illinois – This, I realized only after I told the dream to my colleague who reminded me of the incident. This colleague, incidentally, works under KL’s team in my company.

6. Oh how I hate Tamizh cinema for making me bring in sex to my story also :(((((((((( -- (Incidentally, just in case you’re wondering if there were any depictions, NO, I was thankfully spared of that, it’s just that I (B2) knew B1 and G1 had done it, avlo dhan).

7. Is this worryingly insane?

(A?)typical Data Flow

Tejaswi, as always, even recently accused me of thinking too much. I vehemently disagreed saying there were instances when we have to think about and consider certain things, the failure to do which by a lot of people being the primary reason for a lot of things being screwed up and nonsense thriving today. But yes, I agree that I have a tendency to think too much or think lots of things from one issue occasionally. Now was one.

Let me also give you my background and current frame of mind. I am quite excited about the LHC being put to operation and though the success of the LHC would give a lot of the atheist physicists (a good many theoretical physicists are atheists) reason to crow about, I am, nevertheless, looking forward to knowing more about what happened those precious moments after the Big Bang. (Hope the guys at CERN dont screw us up, as feared by some. Still, despite my obvious concerns at dying before doing a lot of things in life as also dying when living away from parents and best friends, going down in such a dramatic fashion would be quite exciting. Imagine how it would be to be inside a black hole!).

Anyways, this just happened a few minutes ago when my mentor came to me and discussed a few things I had to do. Among other things, I had to implement a timer function to estimate the time taken by one of our applications to run, and he said it would possibly be of the order of microseconds. "Microseconds" immediately triggered the LHC in me (I hope you understood why). Since I had been thinking about discussing the LHC with Karthik Raghavan, I was prompted about a recent email-discussion with Karth Rags and Kesh which, incidentally, started about detachment (which, in turn, was because of an earlier discussion about vegetarianism with Kesh) and subsequently went to buying houses, wealth creation and the financial world. Which brings me back to where I am. And I realized my mentor had finished giving me the task and was back at his desk.

All this in a matter of seconds.

The power of thought, eh?

Yeah yeah, I hear all you guys sniggering about how I dont do my job at work. I cannot explain to you nincompoops about how I am using my office work as constructive inspiration for higher things.

:D :D :D

Some thought.