From Books & Book-Worms to Conservatives & Liberals

Contrary to popular perception, I am not a particularly well-read guy. I am very nitpicky about books and don't have the patience to devote a chunk of time on any one cause at any point of time. Now this has been a source of much embarrassment for me, because for some reason (probably because I talk a lot or because I somehow successfully portray that I'm knowledgeable-because-I'm-well-read or both) people tend to assume I've read many books. On many occasions, I've not even heard of the book or the author. Enough of narcissism, onto the actual topic - despite being badly-read, I've always held books in high regard and well-read people in higher regard (don’t ask me why. Is that a bad premise to start off with – Probably. But indulge me for a bit). Sadly though, though I still swear by books and continue to try to have “reading books” in my “must-do” list, I can’t say the same about the latter. Now generalization is something we Indians love to do (for example . . . :D). But in the recent past, I’ve come across a lot of well-read people who have deeply disappointed me. As an individual, I place a lot of premium on attitude and behaviour – and I guess I can even go on to say that building both these constitute one of the essential goals of life. Which is probably why my attitude towards reading is – though reading in itself is a pleasurable and a quite praise-worthy activity, if your reading doesn’t help enhance your attitude and/or behaviour, it’s really a shame. Over the past many months, I’ve come across many well-read folks/book-worms who have exhibited one or more of the following –

• Air of superiority – I don’t know how this comes about - whether it is because of the knowledge acquired by reading books or the conscious feeling of having read many books, but it is there.
• Utter Conviction about their point of view – They are so convinced about the opinion they hold that there will not even be any seeds of doubt that will make them entertain or even consider a contrary point of view.
• Contempt for people who are not well-read but who venture to voice their opinion on issues they might otherwise have knowledge on/exposure to.
• Mad Obsession – I’m by-and-large a moderate in most spheres of life (*wink wink*) and a strong believer in balance and not being overly taken in or consumed by any one particular person, cause or event. So I find it a little disconcerting when I see folks reading their books with complete disregard for other potentially important things. For instance, I’ve seen folks immersed in books on deep philosophical/existential issues when there’s a poor Commissioner who’s travelled hundreds of kilometers just to handle a class on how to issue show-cause notices, how to stay honest, etc.

Initially I thought these were just outliers, but pretty much every well-read person I have come across unfailingly exhibited one or more of the afore-mentioned characteristics (Ok the sample-size is so small I won’t disclose it, but take my word for it, will you? :D).

*bias alert* Another interesting observation/hypothesis I have is that these well-read folks invariably tend to be liberal. Now I’m not sure if this liberal streak is a conscious or sub-conscious development. While it is a pretty agreeable generalization that conservatives are usually not well-read (Internet Trolls for example) and liberals are well-read, it’s also a shame because there is so much literature conservatives can lay their hands on, without fear of having their political orientation changed (this fear, I am told, is one of the many factors hindering conservatives from reading up). This also probably explains how/why though the “senior” conservatives are comparably (to “senior” liberals) well-read, your average-Joe conservative isn’t anywhere as well-read as your average-Joe lib.

[On a side-note, this is also probably why I tend to lean on the conservative side slightly more often than not. ;-)]

Now we get to another interesting observation – that of how the number of articles/blogs/social media posts by average-Joe liberals on contemporary issues is more than those by average-Joe conservatives (who are more comfortable sharing the few articles written supporting their point of view. Oh how convenient!) – Yakub Memon’s hanging being a case in point. What’s interesting about this is that online social activism costs but a few pennies and a few books/articles. A software engineer-by-day becomes an expert on Yakub Memon’s hanging by night because he’s read a few articles by “investigative” journalists about how Yakub bhai turned himself in voluntarily, RAW had a deal with him, etc. The only time you spend is on reading books/articles. You don’t need to spend valuable time doing research, collecting data or learning the nuances of law. Classic example for this being Shashi Tharoor’s fantastic conclusion that – given that from 1990-2000 there were more hangings as well as a higher incidence of murder while from 2000-2010, there was just one hanging and the murder rate had substantially reduced – hence capital punishment is *not* a deterrent for murder. QED.

I realize I have digressed. To an alarming extent at that. But let that not take away my fundamental grouse with the “well-read”, which is what I had wanted my post to be about when I started. :D

Confession: For a change, I’ll de-generalize and say that this attitude towards books I have talked about here is purely personal – that a direct outcome of reading books should be to improve one’s attitude/behaviour towards the world/people. I completely agree that people’s motivations to read voraciously might range from “acquiring knowledge for the heck of it” to “getting a high for no specific reason” to “acquiring knowledge to acquire an air of superiority” to “personality development”. Given this, each person is completely justified in being arrogant, supercilious, condescending, etc.

But UPSC clear kiya hoon yaar, well-read or not, opinion to rahega na!

Jai Bajrang Bali!

It is probably an indicator of the sorry state of Indian cinema (as a whole) that you're left wondering in amazement if you've really seen two back-to-back Indian movies that not only *didn't* make you cringe, but actually left you with a contented feel when you exited the cinema theatre.

Stripped to its bare essentials and bereft of all intellectual over-complications, a movie can be judged by how it left you feeling when you take those few steps from your seat in the movie hall till you exit the building. Unless you are one of a handful of people in this world, the probability of you reviewing the movie in those precious few minutes tends to one. And this is quite a definitive opinion to hold.
And by this method, both Baahubali​ and Bajrangi Bhaijaan​ are resounding successes.

Since reviews/opinions of Baahubali are dime a dozen and the fact that I agree, by and large, with most positive reviews, I'll dedicate this post only to #BajrangiBhaijaan.

Shortly after the movie starts, your first impressions of the movie (after, of course, noticing how cute the girl is) are -
1. Bhai's dance steps reminded me of Rajinikanth's dance moves ever since he turned 50. And what's with the constipated look? Was he trying to be funny, cute or both?
2. How Kareena Klux Klan is still eye-poppingly attractive in those chudidhars so many years after Jab We Met.
3. How it must be such a hard time to be a left-liberal these days - if Baahubali's not-only-unabashed but also in-your-face Hinduism wasn't enough, we now have Bhai playing a Hanuman-bhakt who keeps chanting "Jai Shri Ram", even to Pakistani Rangers. #BurreDin indeed. :D
4. Sallu bhai, however your subtle point about the RSS being a political body was not missed. Like at all. ;)

And then Harshaali Malhotra takes over. And HOW! Her initial cuteness is merely a smokescreen to unprepare you for how she would later tug at your heartstrings. We all know how humans have this inherent *inability* to *not* fall for cuteness in children (notwithstanding the "all children are cute" epithet). Now add generous doses of innocence to that cuteness (it may be personal, but innocence has always ranked high on my list of attractiveness). Top that with mind-blowing expressions for every situation. What you get is the simply irresistible visage of Shahida.
At some point in the 2nd half of the movie, you reach a stage where every time she appears on screen, you either go "Awww" or there's a few droplets lurking in the corner of your eyes (monsoon has officially set in, no? :) ). It doesn't help that the cuteness gets compounded by actions such as her piggybacking on Bhai, her head-shake, her hand-shake, her holding the corn, her dropping the corn on the road, her curled up next to Bhai, her recording him on the video camera - so that's basically most of the scenes she appears on screen - you get the drift right? The girl carries the entire film on her fragile shoulders. Politically incorrect though it might be, but the movie wouldn't have been half as effective had the girl even been half as cute. However, credit where due - simply being cute would hardly have sufficed. And that's where all that I've said above comes into the picture.

Sallu bhai has played very well. No not his role, but the overall scheme of things - a role which doesn't require much histrionics (KKK fell in love with him in approximately 4.5 minutes and 3 scenes) but allows him to express essential emotions at strategic locations - a fight, an intro dance - just about enough to establish his mass'ness.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui​ is officially my favouritest character artiste today. I have begun to adore him as much as I felt Irrfan Khan​ was overrated. The screen lights up every time he appears. Life's unfairness hits you when you see him and Salman Khan​ share screen-space and you realize how famous each person is.

And the rest - well Harshaali is simply awesome to take over. But credit again to Sallu bhai for choosing such a script. By the end of the movie, there would probably have been 3 people in the movie hall who didn't shed a tear - all 3 being the security personnel waiting to show directions.

A movie has won if the audience know what's going to happen in the climax but are waiting for that exact same thing to happen with the eagerness of a child - which is exactly what happens here.

With all the essential ingredients taken care of (Harshaali, her looks, her expressions, her actions), the director just needed to ensure he didn't mess up the other aspects. And he doesn't.
A movie with an excuse for a story, a superstar for a hero and an angel for everything else - #BajrangiBhaijaan is a tear-jerker alright but a tearing succcess all the way!

To two Gentlemen Officers With Respect

"Officer-Like Qualities" or "OLQ" are one of the first things one hears of after entering the Services. Though there exists no textbook definition for the same, by popular perception, it is identified and understood. If you are one for discipline, sincerity and a stickler for rules, you are in for a rude surprise when you enter the Services. As much as it requires passion, dedication and consistent effort to get in, sadly, once inside, very little of that translates to behaviour *towards* the Service. It isn't about implicit acceptance of the System (however 'flawed' it may be) as it is about respecting the rules of an institution.

These days, it appears as if the default "setting" in many individuals is "unacceptance" of established rules (as opposed to norms, convention, etc.). While not wearing sunglasses when receiving the Prime Minister might be a norm, attending classes regularly, avoiding usage of phones during classes, attending PT's in the morning, etc. are closer to "rules". Besides, incorrect thought it may be, there is this tendency to think that obedience to these rules, especially in a severely lax environment, reflects the sense of idealism and commitment an officer has (to have) - towards the service, society and nation.

Swapnil Tembe and Prianceu Pandey are two of those rare officers with full possession of such "Officer-Like Qualities". I am not sure if his ITBP background (in Swapnil's case) contributed to his officer-like persona or if he has always been this way, but both were among the few who you could look up to - a constant in the morning PT sessions notorious for mass bunking, two guys who stood by the very principles you came to the Service expecting to see - be it in attending classes or not using unfair means during the exams or back-biting about other batch-mates. They were two of the few who shared my sense of idealism - towards the Service, Department and the Nation, despite a bleak outlook for especially the first 2. Barely 2 days ago, we were talking about how it'd be great if this "idealism"-based group (of 5-6 of us) could be together in whichever service we got/remained and promote/propagate it. Fortunately or unfortunately, Swapnil was the only one to get into the IAS, while Prianceu got into the IPS. But fate has its way of binding people and both these chaps ended up with the same cadre.

In a batch notorious for its delinquent behaviour and studious violation of rules, principles and general sense of idealism, Swapnil and Prianceu gave hope as fellow comrades - someone whose thoughts you could echo, someone with whom you could share your disillusionment without fear of being ostracized as an "inconvenient idealist", "pro-establishment guy", etc.

Farewell Swapnil and Prianceu, both of you were people I had (and will continue to have) tremendous respect for - the two of you were right on top of the list of people I wanted to get through to the next stage - be it IAS or IPS. I am sure you two will make fabulous officers. Have that sense of idealism running high and remember our motley group of "idealists". Would love to exchange notes with you two from time to time and look forward to working with you guys some time in the future!

One Final Time . . .

5 hours. 300 minutes. Or thereabouts. The tension. The anticipation. The exhilaration. One final time. There are moments in your life when it all boils down to one specific incident. At the risk of over-hyping UPSC (technically, it's "just another part of life", "exam", etc. Yeah right. Try telling it to the 3000-odd folks who gave the interview :D), one has to admit that these moments do impart that extra zing to life. You know...adrenalin rush and all that.

30 is a lot of things to a lot of people. To me, it signals coming out of experimenting with life (that's how I'm thinking of it right now at least ;)). I know there will definitely be more exams. I know there will be more moments of tension. Hell, there might (or definitely will) even be a life-altering event or two. But few that will come announced-yet-unannounced. Few that would have had your prepare for years. Few that would have 3000 others waiting with bated breath, with you. And to add to the intrigue, UPSC announces, probably for the first time, the exact date the result would be out.

Which brings me back to these twenty hours.

Truly one of a kind. Irrespective of what happens at the end of these 20 hours, and I know I'm repeating myself, What a pulsating journey it has been.

May the best man (ok woman too)! smile emoticon

*tick tock* *tick tock* *tick tock*

Adieu NACEN!

I wonder if it is the inherently sentimental nature of us Indians that even 5-odd months are enough for us to get attached to a place. Or it might be the kind of people you meet and/or the kind of involvement you had in the activities of the place. For many of us folks who joined the Academy with a passion to be part of ‪#‎BharatSarkar‬, the National Academy of Customs, Excise & Narcotics, Faridabad was our first brush with bureaucracy. And it was disappointing, exciting, motivating, fun - all at once. But of all the things Academy was, the sense of warmth it induced in us - it gave us the feeling of belonging and ownership only a family member can.

What friends we made! What fun we had! What (all) stuff we did! But yes, I must admit that though I did make a few *good* friends, I could never quite get those one or two *inseparable* friends - (you know, the kind whose company you can't live without *and* [more importantly :D], the kind who love your company just as much!), whether for good or bad, I don't know, leading me to occasionally wonder if I should've spent more time on people around me than the plethora of activities I was involved in. Khair, being in Bangladesh, I did try my best (or at least that's what I would like to think wink emoticon. Plus anyhow, I did have tons of other wonderful company - be it the guard-dogs which barked me all the way back to my room at night from Alaknanda or the beautiful little squirrels chasing one another across the road or the mynaahs that kept chirping away to glory.

Starting with early-morning PT's in the freezing cold at the tennis court, then shifting to neighbouring Police Lines, frantic rush to get attendance (and in some cases, put proxy...sshhhh!), finally dwindling to just 2 or 3. :D)

No post on NACEN, Faridabad is complete without mention of the stupendous Mess food we had, so ably managed by our wonderful Mess Committee (shortly to be elected unopposed in Hyderabad) - such delicious food that any PT we did would be immediately compensated for!

Well, I guess that's enough nostalgia and emotion for 5 months. I know we're going to be coming back for our refresher in another 6 months (or not! wink emoticon, but our first love will always remain our deepest, truest and most heart-rending love. And for all of us from the current batch for whom NACEN, Faridabad was our first destination in #BharatSarkar, it will be our first love.

Adieu, NACEN! You will be missed, if only for a while, but loved . . . always!

Buying my peace

Assuming the journey began in August 2011 when I officially started preparing (June 2010 if you consider my return to India for the Services), it is with a sense of relief, fondness and of course, the inevitable regret that I reach closure. Exactly a year ago, I got selected into the Services and just short of 1 day to the year, I have had my final tryst with UPSC. Though I started off aspiring for the Foreign Services (which has hence been overshadowed by the Administrative Services smile emoticon ), I have realized that there is much constructive work that I can do in the Revenue Services as well. The constant sense of negativity and dissing of the Service by a few "blessed" souls notwithstanding wink emoticon , I am confident that as long as one is resourceful, motivated and initiative-driven even in our blessed service, there is much we can achieve, both at a personal as well as professional level. I would definitely have liked to sign off on a high, but what with yesterday's semi-disaster of an interview, I realize fairy tales like Ivanisevic's Wimbledon are, but rare. Besides, in the words of a friend, in the pursuit of a "better" service, we overlook the basic point of "public" service that we are here for.

Farewell UPSC, it has been a memorable journey with you! Though I did feel shortchanged on both the occasions I was privileged enough to enter your hallowed portals, and despite a few complaints about your process, I have nothing but respect for you.

My 2nd (and Final) UPSC Interview

Date: 11th June, 2015

Session: Afternoon

Board: Vice Admiral D.K.Dewan

Chairman – Can you tell me your roll number?

Me - ******

C – So K*****k, are you working currently? Let me see, ah so you are in the Trade Services?

Me – Sir, I was allotted the Trade Service, but I have since been upgraded to IRS (Customs)

C –      1. Can you explain the issues with drones?
            [Vague answer. Mentioned privacy concerns, regulatory issues. Thought security

concerns were applied, mentioned in passing. He seemed interested in Security &

Regulation]

2. In the Arab Spring, which are the biggest and smallest countries?

[Answered Egypt and Tunisia. Apparently smallest nation was Bahrain.]

3. Are you sure? What about Bahrain? What is the name of the square in Bahrain?

[Had no idea about the Square in Bahrain. He compared it to a more famous

square where a massacre happened. I answered Tiananmen Square. One of the

members asked the square in Egypt. I answered Tahrir Square]

4. Ok, which are the countries in the Arab Spring which were ruled by monarchs

and which by dictators?

[Started off with Hosni Mobarak, answered Monarch, then changed to Military

Ruler. Somehow didn’t go farther.]

5. Do you know about India’s strategic oil reserves? How much quantity of oil

reserves do we have?

[I didn’t really understand reserve. Answered Bombay High & KG Basin. Turns

out he was specifically expecting “reserves”. And location of our strategic

reserves are in Vizag, my birthplace.]

M1 –    1. You have read the Customs Act. Can you tell me which are all the

organizations that are empowered under the Customs Act to use its laws?

[I could think of only NCB. I asked him a few more questions about NDPS Act,

arrest provisions, etc. but organizations none other.]

2. You are from Vizag. In recent times, there have been extremes of floods along

the AP/Orissa coast. Why do you think this is happening?

[Global Warming, Climate Change, El Nino.]

3. While the loss of life has been minimal, there has been significant loss of

resources, amounting to many thousands of crores. Why do you think this is

happening?

[Regulations are in place, but not followed. Gave example of Uttarakhand floods

where many homes/buildings built close to the river bank were washed away. He

asked if we didn’t have regulations. I said we do, but they are not followed.

Implementation and regulation was an issue.]

M3 (Lady) –    1. You have worked at **** as a Software Developer. What kind of

software did you develop there? (then repeats the question for my 2nd

company)

[Trading Software to enable proprietary traders to trade in the market]

2. How will you use this experience in your Customs Department?

[Gave example of NIDB, prediction of potential smuggling cases]

3. Can you give specific examples?

[Gave a small example wrt shady importers importing small amounts of a

commodity frequently.]

4. Who was awarded the Bharat Ratna recently? What was his

contribution? He has a major contribution.

[Of all the people, I remembered only Malviya and totally forgot

Vajpayee. Told Malviya was a great educationist. Didn’t tell he founded

BHU. When the member prodded me and told he founded something, I

finally blurted out BHU.]

5. Your department is notorious for having a large number of cases getting

quashed by the higher judiciary. Why does this happen?

[Answered that 2 reasons – 1. Our officials do not follow the procedure

meticulously leading to many good cases being washed out on

technicalities. She asked if problem with law. Specifically told her that

law is fine, just that people are not careful enough to follow procedure

meticulously. 2. Superiors do not strike down frivolous cases for fear of

vigilance action, hence many bad cases reach higher courts and get struck

down there.]

M2 –    1. You have been in the US for 4 years. You also have Public Administration. Can

you give my out-of-the-box (repeats this to stress on it) solutions for public

service delivery?

[Explained that main problem in service delivery is presence of middlemen. Gave

a convoluted solution of having an efficient e-Governance system where

consumer can file requests online, where it is processed without human

intervention. Also, a token number is generated for each customer which reaches

the head (say Commissioner, Collector, etc) who checks on a periodic basis, how

many pending, why a certain case wasn’t completed on promised time.]

2. Your suggestion is already implemented in some places but hasn’t seen any

major success. There are many states currently legislating on public service

delivery. Can you explain how effective they are in some states?

[This was too detailed and vague, flatly said I hadn’t seen any such schemes at

ground level to comment.]

3. Recently, an American broke a World Record. Do you know what it is?
[I had no idea. Asked him if it would be Michael Phelps. He said it was in Athletics. Then I thought maybe he wrongly thought Usain Bolt was an American. Wasn't Bolt either. Then asked me if I knew where the 2008 Olympics was in. I said Beijing.]

C - Do you know a recent news about Michael Phelps?
[I said I didn't. Apparently, Phelps is participating in the 2016 Olympics after 8 years.]

M4 –    1. You were a “Student Orientation Leader” at Illinois Institute of Technology.

Can you elaborate what you did there?

[Helping new students get used to surroundings, help them complete paper-work,

explain US culture, enable them to acclimatize, show them around Chicago, etc.]

But that is not the definition of a “leader”.

[Just smiled.]

2. You have studied Computer Science. Can you tell me what are some of the

recent developments in Server Technology?

[Crazy random. Had no idea about servers. Just blurted out that latest technology

in servers was servers that let out much lesser heat and didn’t need AC’s. He went

on to PC’s that heated up. I explained about processors and heat sinks. Basically

meandered there.]

C –      1. Tell me who wrote the US Constitution and when.

            [Could only remember Benjamin Franklin. Date was towards end of 1700’s.]

            2. Do you know how far is Cuba from the US?

            [I said Cuba was very close to US, but I wasn’t sure of exact distance. He was

surprised and asked me if I had not visited southern part of US. I told I’d been to

the East & West coasts, but not to the southern coast. Interview ended abruptly

there. He said “you can go”.]

My Take –

Very average at best and borderline disaster at worst. Though most of the questions pertained to my background, somehow they were never close to my strengths or were so vague that I couldn’t come up with a convincing answer (or at least one that I was satisfied with). Plus a whole lot of factual questions that I either messed up or didn’t know much about. Halfway through, I was visualizing IAS & IFS slipping away from my hands. Will be a miracle if I cross 170. Personally, I’d be happy if I got last year’s score.

[For the transcript of my interview last year (ironically with the same board), click here.]